Economizing from the Bottom Up

The other day I was somewhere — out of a sense of propriety and fairness I won’t say where — and had to use the facilities. While there I discovered, to my dismay, that my host had decided to save a few bucks by buying cheaper toilet paper. Typically, cheap toilet paper is either rougher or thinner. This particular type managed to capture both qualities, combining the consistency of wood pulp and the gossamer transparency of a fairy’s wing. Kish has wisely observed, in the past, that there are two things you should not scrimp on — shoes and toilet paper. Truer words were never spoken. Nothing says “we’re economizing!” more definitively than cheap toilet paper in the stall.

The incident reminded me of one of the best work-related stories I ever heard from an attorney at our firm. One of our lawyers was negotiating a collective bargaining agreement for one of our corporate clients. The union workers had presented a list of demands which addressed the expected topics, such as pay, overtime, and health benefits, but also included a requirement that a particular, upscale brand of toilet paper be used in the restrooms at the plant. During negotiations, the union reps doggedly insisted on the demand for improved TP. Finally, our lawyer asked one of the union reps, in a sidebar talk, what the deal was with the demand. The union rep responded: “We may be blue-collar guys, but our assholes are just as tender as yours!”

Good advice for businesses trying decide where they can appropriately cut back.