My hair is turning grey. At first, the process was gradual. Now, it is happening at an alarmingly increasing pace. At first, it was just a few flecks here and there. Now, every trip to the stylist provides unmistakable evidence of aging. Brown hair is shorn and mostly grey hair seems to lie underneath. The effect is particularly noticeable at the temples, where it looks like I’ve inadvertently leaned against a whitewashed fence.
You always hear that greying temples makes you look distinguished. Don’t believe it! Instead, it makes you look like you have a two-tone head or are wearing a badly matched toupee. And the weird, literally kinky nature of the grey hairs makes it very difficult to maintain any kind of distinguished visage. Instead, the grey hairs tend to jut out, begging to be plastered down with some powerful pomade. It is as if, after decades of life in a limp, boring brown incarnation, the hairs have thrown every convention to the wind and decided to live their remaining years in reckless abandon, grey, twisted, and untamed. It provides a great incentive to get your hair cut frequently — and then the vicious cycle starts over again.