Domino’s New Pizza

Domino’s pizza has long had a reputation as the “poor man’s pizza.” That’s saying a lot considering how low quality all pizza delivery chains are.

I’ve always wondered why the big chains have to put out such lousy products. I can tolerate some of them – Papa John’s and Donato’s – but they still don’t compare to most local pizza joints. You would think the companies could spend a few million to develop a recipe that is easy to make in mass quantities at competitive prices, and as tasty as the pizza pies you get at those little places with bells on the door and tacky paintings of the Leaning Tower of Pisa on the wall.

Domino’s recent ad campaign addresses this. The commercials show Domino’s executives humbly admitting that their pizza scored low on customer surveys (common complaints were that the crust tastes like cardboard and the sauce like ketchup), and promising to introduce a new, better recipe. Even while watching Stephen Colbert mock the commercial I couldn’t help but appreciate the company’s honesty. I thought, “finally!”, and decided to give the new pizza a chance. Which is exactly what the commercial was supposed to make me do. Yeah, I’m a sucker.


I was disappointed. I never ate Domino’s much before, so I don’t remember what it tasted like, but if it was much worse than this it must have been really, really bad. I’m eating it now. The crust does, indeed, taste like cardboard except for the smidgen of “garlic” sprinkled on it, which they mention adding in the commercial. The sauce doesn’t taste like ketchup; it doesn’t taste like anything. It might as well be cheese on bread. And the cheese – not bad, but nothing special. It doesn’t have the gooiness that Mom and Pop pizza places seem to have. But maybe it lost that in the 50-55 minutes it spent making its way to my apartment (it was supposed to take 30-40 minutes).

One good thing I can say about Domino’s is that it has an excellent website. I’ve been ordering my pizzas online for a while, and Domino’s website makes it simpler than any other I’ve seen. The best part is that, after you place your order, you get to see what stage of preparation your pizza is in. “Christopher began preparing the ingredients for your pizza at 7:40 PM.” “Christopher placed your pizza in the oven at 7:45 PM.” “Daniel set out to deliver your pizza at 7:55 PM.”

I would have enjoyed this feature more if the pizza had tasted good or been delivered on time, though.

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