There are many things that suck about getting older. In one case, at least, the suckiness is literal. With each passing year, my skin seems to be sucked dryer, and dryer, and dryer.
This condition is especially acute during the winter. You go outside into the frigid air and it is as if every particle of moisture is being vacuumed from your body. By the time you get back inside, your skin is as brittle as parchment, with an unsightly, spotty red appearance. You come to dread washing your hands, because the act of drying them begins to get painful. After a few washings your skin experiences a dull ache. Until this began to happen, I paid absolutely no attention to my skin. Now I have come to realize, from grim overall sensation, that the skin is the largest organ of the human body.
I’ve gotten to the point where I save those little bottles of lotion you get at every hotel and then start to use them like crazy during the colder months. But even constant, liberal application of lanolin-based products — which leaves you trailing an odor of coconut, lime, vanilla bean, or some other ingredient associated with a tropical beverage — can provide only momentary relief. I’ll never get back the dewy skin of youth and, well, it sucks.