We’re all eager to shed some of those lingering holiday pig-out pounds. The best way to achieve your goal is not to go to your health club or workout facility, but to head out into the Great White North, where there are plenty of ways to lose that weight and tone your flabby carcass.
The snow shovel lift and hurl: Shoveling snow is like the Bow-Flex of winter outdoor exercises — it can involve virtually every kind of motion and form of exercise. Lift your shovel. Bend at the waist and apply force to your shovel to scrape the driveway clean. Lift that heavy load of snow. Twist with your torso and hurl the snow onto the piles to the right and left. Hope for that magical combination of weather factors that cause ice and wet snow to freeze to your shovel, increasing the weight of each shovel-load by a factor of ten.
The windshield stretch and scrape: Retrieve your cob-webbed scraper from the dusty recesses of the garage. Use the scraper to chisel ice off your car’s side windows. A vigorous up-and-down motion works best. Then, stretch as far as you can over your snow-bound car and scrape the snow and ice from your windshield and back window and ponder the inevitable question: why do they make the scrapers so short?
The icy walkway balance beam: Venture out onto the icy sidewalk, walking with tiny, mincing steps to try to maintain maximum contact with the frozen surface. Then, react with lightning speed to deftly regain your balance when you begin to slip. Bonus points if you can do a pirouette without falling.
The sleet avoidance car dash: Sleet is the worst of all weather conditions, a devilish combination of rain, snow, and ice. Don’t just stand there getting pelted — run to your car in the Wal-Mart parking lot! And pray that a benevolent deity guides your footsteps, so they don’t inadvertently find that hidden patch of ice.
Remember, bundle up = weight down: Dress in layers — it’s cold out there! After a few minutes of hard shoveling, though, you’ll be overheated, your heart will be pounding, and you’ll be sweating like a blast furnace worker. Your knit cap will be sodden and you’ll pull at that scarf that now seems to be choking you. Oh, and your nose will be running, too. In fact, “running” really does not begin to describe the gushing flow pouring out of those red, flaring nostrils. With all of that moisture leaving your body through every possible route, you’ll be assured of massive water weight loss!
Now, get out there — and feel the burn!