Crow Woe

Once, life was pleasant in the college town of California, Pennsylvania.  Then, the crows came, and kept coming, until the town was home to thousands of the large black birds.

Now, residents wake up in the morning, look out the window, and see crows everywhere.  They hear the harsh caws of crows all night long.  They feel the oppressive presence of crows in the trees.  They walk out to their cars and find them covered with crow droppings, and when they venture outside they have to dodge falling crow bombs.  A local TV crew sent to get footage of the pests reported that the plopping of crow poop outside sounded like raindrops.  Local business owners say that the crow infestation is hurting sales.  No kidding!  Imagine what the crow infestation has done for home sales!

Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds always scared the hell out of me, because the everyday phenomenon of birds in the sky became a bizarre, horrifying menace for no apparent reason.  The plague-like conditions in California, Pennsylvania sound like that.  I’m not the superstitious type, but if I lived in California I’d get the heck out of there before birds started coming down the chimney or the locusts and frogs appeared.

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