I didn’t win the Mega Millions lottery payout, which means that a key assumption in my retirement planning will need to be changed. Why not simply presume that, at some point, you are going to get a huge windfall? It makes retirement planning a heck of a lot easier. (And it’s about as realistic as assuming that Social Security will be able to make monthly payments at current levels indefinitely to millions of long-lived Baby Boomer soon-to-be retirees. But I digress.)
With the removal of the Mega Millions payout assumption, I need to look elsewhere for the wealth that will fund the fabulous, active retirement that is every American’s true birthright. Recently, in doing some spring cleaning, I think I found my answer — in our travels, we’ve accumulated an impressive collection of foreign money. Why, I have one piece of paper currency alone, with a picture of Ho Chi Minh on the front, with a face value of 20,000 dong. 20,000 dong! If the exchange rate is even remotely favorable, that one bill alone should fund a year’s worth of Early Bird Specials at whatever restaurant caters to senior citizens at our ultimate retirement destination.
That’s not all, either. I’ve got a 1 yuan bill with Mao’s picture on it, as well as Chinese coins. Another bill reads 5 Wu Jiao and has a nice picture of two women wearing some traditional tribal costumes on it. It’s probably Chinese currency, too. China’s economy is doing great, so that hoard will be like an investment that will keep on growing. I’ve got Euros, and Canadian change, and coins with holes through the middle and Asian writing on them. Surely, all of those will be worth something, and will help to avoid times of want in my golden years.
As I go through the money, I found one game token that has “no cash value” stamped on it. Oddly, it looks just like the other coins — made of metal, about the same weight and heft, minted with a picture on one side and numbers on the other. I suppose you could conceivably confuse American currency with such worthless bits of metal or paper. Fortunately, our money has the full faith and credit of the U.S. government behind it. Thank goodness!