Brides Beyond The Pale

I’ve seen the show Bridezillas once or twice, and I always thought it was one of those “reality” TV shows that seems pretty darned fake.  Could anyone be as obsessive and crazed about their wedding as the brides-to-be in the show?

Now I’ve seen a story that makes me ask whether lunatic brides are more common than I thought.  The story is about the “K-E diet” — a diet for women who are worried about fitting into their bridal gowns and want to lose weight fast.  The diet requires women to run a feeding tube through their noses to their stomachs and then feeds them a constant slow drip of protein and fat mixed with water, which results in the burn-off of body fat through a process called ketosis.  The dieter doesn’t eat any food for the duration of the diet but doesn’t feel any hunger because she is being “fed” constantly.  Dieters can lose up to 20 pounds in 10 days.  (Of course, once the tube is removed and the bride goes back to eating solid food, you’d expect the weight to be put right back on — and perhaps a bit more besides.)

What’s the downside of the diet?  Well, you carry a bag of glop around in your purse.  You have bad breath and, often, diarrhea because you’re not consuming any solid food.  And, of course, you walk around in public for days with a feeding tube sticking out of your nose.  Other than that, not much.

Haven’t we reached a dangerous point in the destructive self-image category if women are so obsessed with their weddings that they are willing to be fed through a tube for days in order to squeeze into the bridal gown of their dreams?

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George Washington, Their Greatest Enemy

The British National Army Museum has held a contest to identify England’s greatest military opponent, and the winner was . . . George Washington.

The Father of our Country beat out Napoleon Bonaparte, Irish leader Michael Collins, Erwin Rommel, the crafty Desert Fox of World War II, and Mustafa Kemal Ataturk, a World War I opponent and the father of modern Turkey, among a number of other candidates.

How could Washington be considered a greater foe than the likes of Napoleon?  After all, the history of the Revolutionary War is a long litany of defeats and retreats by the outmanned American forces, without many of the brilliant tactical maneuvers that gave Napoleon and Rommel their reputations.  For that reason, some people have belittled Washington’s military prowess.

But one other, important factor distinguishes Washington from Napoleon and Rommel — Washington’s side eventually prevailed.  General Washington never gave up and somehow managed to hold together his rag-tag, underfunded band of soldiers until the French entered the fray.  Washington then teamed with the French to deliver the final blow to the British forces at Yorktown, which led to the Treaty of Paris and the independence of the American colonies.

The loss of the American colonies was probably the greatest defeat ever inflicted on the British during the glory centuries of the British Empire.  So yes, George Washington is a logical choice for England’s greatest military opponent.  He was, as the British themselves recognized, a worthy foe.