“Nakation” Aberration

Can it really be true that there is a rise (pun intended) in people taking naked vacations — “nakations,” for short?

Reuters has a story about a new ship launched by Carnival, the Carnival Freedom, that will will cater to the nudists among us.  The ship, which can accommodate more than 2,900 passengers, will offer all of the amenities and activities found on standard Carnival ships, but the voyagers will be naked.  The story notes that the “nude recreation” industry brings in $440 million a year, up 10 percent from 10 years ago, and states that the “nudist lifestyle” is about “enjoying oneself without the social or physical burden of clothing in a non-sexual, family-friendly environment of like-minded people.”

Family-friendly?  Really?  Are parents actually taking children on nudist vacations where the kids will confront hundreds of naked adult strangers?  That just seems incredibly wrong to me, and unfair to the kids — but then, I’m no nudist.

The linked article says the nudist lifestyle involves less stress.  I suppose a naked cruise would at least avoid the stress of trying to decide to what to pack to wear while you are aboard ship.  Other than that, color me skeptical.  I think there would be a lot of stress involved in having to suck in your gut everywhere you go.  On the other hand, perhaps the sight of acres of pulpy naked flesh might ruin a few appetites and thereby discourage the buffet table gorging and late-night sundae bar binges that you see so often on cruises.

Madonna Is Pathetic

I freely concede that I am completely out of it when it comes to most facets of current popular culture.  I’m way behind on the new musical acts and popular songs, the hot TV shows, and the latest fads.

I recognize that my opinion therefore doesn’t count for much . . . but I still think Madonna is pathetic.  She’s an act from the ’80s who has fallen out of favor and into modern cultural irrelevancy.  She’s not alone; other ’80s singers like Boy George and Cyndi Lauper and Huey Lewis aren’t doing much these days, either.  Apparently, however, it is driving Madonna nuts to be out of the limelight, and she will say or do anything to get attention.  At least, that is how I interpret her reported conduct on an overseas tour, where she shows controversial videos, flashes a nipple in one city, and flashes her keister in another.  Anything for a headline!

It’s sad to see the formerly rich and famous scramble to hold on to a glimmer of their celebrity status.  They are so addicted to attention that they will stoop to incredibly demeaning behavior to get another fix.  Madonna’s problem is that she never had much of a voice, can’t transition to singing standards as prior artists have done, and has learned that today’s young people aren’t really interested in buying songs sung by 50-year-olds.   When you want desperately to be a musical and cultural phenomenon and you confront those realities, there’s not much you can do but work out for hours every day, expose a butt cheek now and then, and ponder what form of outrageous behavior you’ll need to participate in tomorrow.

What’s next, Madonna biting the head off a chicken?  It’s pathetic.

YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP !

US DEFENDS PURCHASE OF ATTACK HELICOPTERS FORAFGHANISTANFROM RUSSIAN ARMS COMPANY SUPPLYING SYRIAN REGIME

Sun Herald (MelbourneAustralia)

June 13, 20129:00 AM 

The United States plans to buy 21 Mi-17 helicopters for the Afghan military from Russia’s Rosoboronexport by 2016. The contract totals $375 million by 2016, with an option to buy additional aircraft worth $550 million. 

US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton accused Russia of sending more attack helicopters to Syria and said Moscow was lying about its arms shipments.

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Russian Helicopters toSyria A New Political Headache for Obama

U.S.News and World Report

June 12, 2012

The Pentagon has no plans to suspend or cancel purchases of helicopters for Afghanistan’s air force from the same Russian firm that is allegedly sending attack helicopters to Syrian President Bashar al-Assad’s loyalist military.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said Tuesday that U.S. officials have pressed their Russian counterparts to stop sending the attack helicopters, which human rights activists say aid in “crimes against humanity.”

The Pentagon, under a controversial program, for several years has been buying Mi-35 helicopters from Rosoboronexport, a Russian government-run arms manufacturer.

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Aside from the cross purposes of the DoD and State Departments, one must ask: Are there no U.S.companies that can make helicopters for Afghanistan purposes?  A billion dollars that will be spent on some Russian arms dealer surely could be spent in the U.S. thereby putting some folks to work at some helicopter plant somewhere here (or at a minimum, keeping some folks working).  Isn’t this the same administration that complains about the corporations that have kept their dollars overseas where there are favorable tax benefits instead of spending it here to create jobs and help our economy? 

This would be the same administration that had the unbelievably stupid program of selling guns to the Mexican Drug Cartels.  Wonder where those guns were produced?    

You just can’t make this stuff up.

Kasey Kologne

Kasey has the worst breath of any dog I’ve ever met, up close and personal.

Even by the appallingly low standards of her canine companions everywhere — and the phrase “dog breath” wasn’t invented for nothing — Kasey’s foul mouth stench plumbs new depths.  Recently she hopped onto the couch next to me, looked at me, exhaled, and singed my eyebrows off.  On our walks, Kasey’s snorts and snuffling leave wide swathes of New Albany grasslands withered, scorched, and smoking.  If her breath had a physical manifestation, it would be a deep purple-black, oily and oozing, full of eyeless, wretched, wriggling things, like something channeled from the lowest pits of hell and used there to torment the most evil and lost souls.

We’ve tried to solve this problem by giving Kasey Milk-Bones and other “breath improvement” products.  The last time we tried it, however, the Milk-Bone emitted a high-pitched shriek, leaped from my hand, and went skittering across the kitchen floor and out the patio door, never to be seen again.

After I’ve stopped gasping for a clean breath after exposure to one of Kasey’s putrid exhalations, I find myself wondering how Kasey’s breath can be so much more noxious than Penny’s.  They are served the same food at the same time, and yet Penny’s breath, relatively speaking, smells like roses.  I’ve concluded that Kasey’s evil breath must have developed as a kind of evolutionary advantage.  If she were freed from her leash and allowed to chase and eventually corner a rabbit, her breath no doubt would immediately paralyze her furry victim and allow Kasey to close in for the kill at her leisure.