Butt Belts And Budgets

Our political leaders’ approach to our budget woes reminds me of a curious device that we found in my grandmother’s basement, long ago.

We called it the butt belt.  It was a machine linked to a canvas belt.  You stood on a platform, slipped the belt around your keister or waist, and turned on the motor.  The belt vibrated and you leaned back, letting the contraption shake your rump like crazy.

The marvelous concept was that you could just stand there, let the machine do all the work, and the mechanical jiggling of your flesh would make the pounds and cellulite melt away.  Heck, you could even eat a sandwich back there, while the machine whaled away.  And after you were done shrinking your ample butt, you just turned around and let the magic belt cause that stubborn belly flab to vanish.  A few sessions with the butt belt, and you’d be ready to slip into that new bathing suit!

Of course, the machine really didn’t work, which is why we never found Gramma down there, getting shaken all over.  We now know that if you’ve overindulged, lost any sense of dietary discipline, and let yourself go, getting back into reasonable shape is going to require some really hard work on your part.  You’ll have to get some exercise and sweat, reduce your caloric intake, and change your habits to stop the constant snacking if you really want to make progress.

Hey, President Obama and members of Congress!  Standing immobile and hoping that the butt belt machine will magically turn your blubber into muscle won’t do the trick!

1 thought on “Butt Belts And Budgets

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s