Here comes Hurricane Sandy, the tropical storm that is scaring the pants off everyone from the east coast to the Mississippi.
Sandy is still far to the south, but speculation about the disasters it might inflict makes for juicy headlines. It could be a “Frankenstorm” that might pile water up against Manhattan Island, swamping low-lying areas and flooding subways tunnels. It could wipe out hundreds of miles of beachfront through massive storm surges. It might combine with a cold front and then drop huge amounts of heavy, wet snow up and down the heavily populated eastern seaboard, snapping rotted old trees like matchsticks, downing thousands of miles of power lines, and leaving the most densely populated part of the nation without power for days. Under the right circumstances, the storm could paralyze multiple states and municipalities just as Election Day arrives, throwing the nation into chaos.
The dire warnings of forecasters whip us into full panic mode before cautioning us all to stay calm. But we know what they’re really telling us. It’s a zombie apocalypse! Old Testament stuff! Dogs and cats, living together! Mass hysteria!
Hey Russell, get your flashlight ready! Soon Brooklyn could be underwater, and the veneer of civilization may well be ripped away from the citizens of New York City, leaving marooned residents to battle savagely for the last scraps of dirty water hot dogs. Or not.