76-0

Today the Ohio State Buckeyes trounced the Florida A&M Rattlers, 76-0.  The game was expected to be a rout — and it was.  Ohio State had more than 600 yards of offense and only had to punt once.  Florida A&M put up only 80 yards of offense and never got close to the Ohio State goal line.  Ohio State was favored to win by 57 points, and it almost exceeded that line by halftime, when the Buckeyes went into the locker room ahead 55-0.

People here in Columbus complained about the quality of the game.  It wasn’t a much-heralded match-up, to be sure, but it’s not entirely the fault of the OSU Athletic Department.  The Buckeyes had scheduled Vanderbilt, but the Commodores backed out.  So, Ohio State went looking for someone to fill the open date, and the Rattlers agreed to be the sacrificial lambs.  We shouldn’t feel too bad for them, though — they got a nice fee for coming to Ohio Stadium and getting pulverized.

Although games like today’s aren’t competitive, they still can be interesting.  You get to see players you’ve only heard about until now.  Today, freshman running back Ezekiel Elliott had his coming out party, rushing for 162 yards and two touchdowns, and we got to see third-string quarterback Cardale Jones run the offense.  They both look like they may be able to contribute in the future.  Other players who’ve been working hard in practice had their chances, too.  Carlos Hyde came back after a three-game suspension and got some touches, the OSU defense manhandled the Rattlers’ offense, and Braxton Miller got another week of healing as Kenny Guiton put up another OSU offensive record.

Next week, the season starts in earnest as Wisconsin comes to the Horseshoe.  After next Saturday night, we’ll have a better idea of how good this Buckeyes team really is.

Soggy, But Independent

It’s Independents’ Day in Columbus.  At work this morning I watched from my office window as independent organizations, band members, and other right-minded folks were dodging the raindrops on Gay Street, getting their tents and stands set up. Now the rain has stopped, the sun is out, and its a beautiful day for a little downtown partying.

This year, the Independents’ Day celebration has expanded to three days.  If you’re in the downtown area, stop by — it’s a great event and just another example of why Columbus is a great place to live.

Trying New Toilet Techniques

The other day Kish and I got some of those mailings that send you new product samples, except this one was a little bit . .. different.

It was a little package from Cottonelle that provided a free sample of “Cottonelle Flushable Cleansing Cloths.”  Apparently the “cleansing cloths” are part of the “Cottonelle Care Routine” that you are supposed to use in conjunction with regular toilet paper, although the order in which these products are to be applied isn’t specified.  The delivery box trumpets “Try the routine that gets your bum clean,” and the inside coupon promises that “nothing leaves you feeling cleaner & fresher than the Cottonelle Care Routine.”  The end panel of the box says “let’s talk about your bum at Facebook.com/Cottonelle.”

I think I’ll pass on Facebook postings about my “bum,” thank you very much — although there is such a page if people are so inclined.  At first, I found it a bit insulting that Cottonelle is even raising questions about the cleanliness and freshness of my “bum.”  I’ve been perfectly happy with my current “routine.”  But then I wondered if I’m being a bit old-fashioned.  After all, there haven’t been significant developments in toilet techniques since rolled toilet paper was invented and marketed back in the 1800s.  Rolls of toilet paper always will have certain advantages over “flushable cleansing cloths” — for example, the latter can’t be used to decorate trees in the yard of your high-school friends — but maybe we should be more receptive to change in this sensitive area.

Now that I think about it, I’m proud to live in a land where a faceless corporation cares enough about my “bum” to spend millions on new product development.  It’s certainly preferable to the situation in Venezuela, where the government just seized a toilet paper factory in an effort to end chronic shortages of the product that have left the country teetering on the edge of riot and panic.  America, land of the free, home of the Cottonelle Care Routine!