The Penny Chronicles

My name is Penny.

The Leader called me a Bad Girl and swatted me on the behind a few days ago.  She was right.  The Leader always is.  I was a Bad Girl, but I don’t care.

IMG_1662The old boring guy was making something that smelled so, so good.  Kasey and I smelled it all day.  But the old boring guy wouldn’t give us any!  So we kept smelling and wishing and hoping — but we never got anything.

Then, when everyone went to sleep, I saw my chance.  I smelled the smell, followed my nose, and found a box just where I could reach it.  I used my nose to knock it off the table.  Sure enough, it was filled with very good food!  I ate as much as I could.

The Leader realized my little trick, found me eating the food, and called me a Bad Girl and gave me a swat.  I don’t care.  I would do it again, and again, and again.  Even with the swat, that was one of the best days ever.

Christmas At The Arcade

IMG_1657Cleveland’s Arcade is all lit up — well, like a Christmas tree — for the holidays.  The pine swags, towering tree, and bright lights, atop the already grand central mallway, can’t help but put you in the holiday mood.

A Winter Wiper Fluid Ditty

Driving on Midwestern winter days makes you realize that windshield wiper fluid is one of the greatest inventions in the history of mankind.  Without it, we would all be driving blind, behind windshields coated with winter grime.

Wiper fluid hasn’t received the praise it so richly deserves.  In hopes of remedying this gross oversight, I’ve composed a little musical tribute, sung to the tune of Jingle Bells:

Wiper Fluid, Wiper Fluid

Driving down the road
on a crappy winter's day
Through grit and salt we go
My car looks painted grey
That semi passing by
He's coating me and then
Clear sight lines gone awry
I'd love to see again.

Oh, wiper fluid, wiper fluid
Don't run out today!
I'm driving on a slushy road
It's much to my dismay, hey!
Wiper fluid, wiper fluid 
Through salt, cinder and grime
My windshield's coated dry again
I need you one last time!


My windshield's dark and bleak
The blades leave it all smeared
Transparency is weak
It makes the world look weird
I pull the fluid knob
To get a needed spritz
And hope to God that I won't get
That "fluid's empty" hiss.

Oh, wiper fluid, wiper fluid
Don't run out today!
I'm driving on a slushy road
It's much to my dismay, hey!
Wiper fluid, wiper fluid 
Through salt, cinder and grime
My windshield's coated dry again
I need you one last time!