Montreal has a very pretty, ultra-modern airport. The Pierre Elliott Trudeau International Airport is clean, spacious, and filled with labor-saving machines and high-end stores.
So it was a bit jarring to walk into the men’s room and see one of those condom-for-sale vending machines — a vending machine which also, mysteriously, sold chewing gum. I’m not quite sure how the two products are related, but I’m guessing that gum sales were depressed by being placed between condom dispensers, especially when one of them is touting vanilla-flavored lubricant, improbably has a drawing of an ice cream cone on the front. and describes itself as “delightfully delicious.”
Sorry, Montreal, but I associate condom-vending machines with the crappiest, filthiest gas stations you can possibly imagine — the kind that have a fat guy with an oil-soaked ballcap and cut-off sleeves sitting behind the counter, rusting gas pumps, and bathroom keys that are chained to a dirty piece of wood the size of a baseball bat. The mere presence of the machine caused my impression of the airport to plummet drastically and made me wonder: “What kind of airport is this, anyway?”