Captain Kirk Vs. Mr. Sulu

Apparently William Shatner (Captain James T. Kirk) and George Takei (Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu) don’t like each other.  In fact, they really don’t like each other.  It all relates to some comments Takei made a a comedy roast about Shatner, or to Shatner’s belief that he wasn’t invited to Takei’s wedding, or . . . something.

This is distressing news for people like me, who were fans of Star Trek.  We want to believe that the members of the Starship Enterprise crew got along like ice cream and apple pie.  After all, they were part of a united world where peace and science reigned and Earth was leading a United Federation of Planets in efforts to peacefully explore the galaxy.

Fortunately, every true Star Trek fan also knows that nothing is as it seems.  If you think about the plots of the episodes, you realize there are lots of explanations for the feud that allow us to cling to our cherished illusion that the crew members are all close friends.  Such as:  (1) We are actually living in an alternate universe where Sulu has a scar and Kirk is a bloodthirsty, marauding pirate; (2) Kirk’s body has been occupied by some kind of shimmering life force that wants people to fight because it lives on hate; (3) Kirk and Sulu are being controlled by an alien who turns out to be (a) a little child, or(b)  a chicken-like creature that is destroyed in a smoky meltdown after Kirk smashes his magic wand; (4) Kirk and Sulu are being controlled by phony Plato-like intellectuals who have consumed alien plants that give them the power to mentally direct the actions of other people; (5) Kirk and Sulu have been exposed to some virus that is making them old and cantankerous.

Oh, wait . . . they are old and cantankerous!  Too bad Bones is no longer with us to cure them.

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