A Disturbing Sign Of Approaching Codgerdom

Yesterday morning I was at my desk at the office, innocently attending to work, when the email chime sounded.  I gave the new message a quick glance, saw that it was a sales pitch, and moved my hand to hit the delete button — when I realized that the email message had a very disturbing subtext to it.

The “re” line read:  “Walk-in Bathtub Right For You?  Free Brochure.”  The email, from “America’s Leader in Walk-In Tubs” — no doubt a highly competitive field — featured a color photo of a walk-in bathtub described as “the first walk-in bath commended by The Arthritis Foundation.”  And if that stamp of approval wasn’t enough, other bullet points in the email read “Make Bathing Safe and Easy,” “Ideal for People with Limited Mobility,” and “Hydrovescent Therapy for Gentle Massage to Help Ease Away Your Aches and Pains.”

Yikes!  How did I get on the list for this depressing email solicitation?  When “America’s Leader in Walk-in Tubs” thinks that a walk-in tub might be “right for you,” you might as well hang up the spurs and head to the old folks’ home.  You’re obviously presumed to be decrepit and incapable of attending to basic personal hygiene using standard devices.

The email gave me the option of clicking for a “free information kit” about the virtues of that walk-in tub, but I think I’ll pass on any action that would confirm my place on a codger email list.  My youthful self image won’t stand up against an inbox filled with email solicitations for Serutan, trusses, walkers, sensible shoes, retirement communities, and deals on prescription medication.

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4 thoughts on “A Disturbing Sign Of Approaching Codgerdom

  1. This is indeed a sad milestone. Sigh. We are building a loft apartment and, being the pragmatic planner that I am, we will be installing a comfort toilet as well as cleverly disguised grab bars. How did we ever get to this point, WB? We used to be cool and agile.

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      • I think you were cool but you didn’t know it. You went to a disco hotspot when disco was cool, I remember reading the post. I have to admit that I did not consider myself cool but recently friends from my long gone youth have been saying that I was “always cool”. It is likely they are confusing me with someone who was but the insecure 14 year old hiding within does not question the faulty recollection.
        I can’t wait until you move and I can see the magic Kish creates, please post pictures. Happy Saturday.

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  2. I kept getting robo-calls for the “I’ve fallen and I get get up” people. Finally I just pressed whatever to say ‘yes’ to their fab free offer and told them I’m very happy to have one, it will most likely be used when I’m trapped under a pile of toddler and picture books. I might have been the nicest decline that guy got all day and I’m blessedly off that robocall list.

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