Before this season began, Sports Illustrated apparently picked the Cleveland Indians to win the World Series. Every true fan of the Tribe immediately reacted as if they had been stung by every worker in a colony of colossal poisonous wasps. There was no need to even read the article, because we knew that disaster lurked dead ahead.
We know what happens when Sports Illustrated picks you. To be blunt, and somewhat vulgar, it means you’re irretrievably cursed and you’re going to suck. And that has exactly what has happened with the Tribe this year. They’ve blown chunks, and in particular they’ve been humiliated and beaten like a rug by their big purported rival the Detroit Tigers. Some rivalry! The Tigers beat the snot out of the Indians, and the Indians go home with covered with shame and embarrassment. Hell, the Indians have even been thumped by the Chicago White Sox. What could be more embarrassing than that?
Sports Illustrated, thanks a lot! April isn’t even over, and already the Indians have shown beyond dispute that they aren’t a contender and haven’t a chance. So what are we supposed to watch between now and football season? Golf? Soccer, for God’s sake?