Today the Powerball lottery jackpot hit $700 million. That’s the highest jackpot ever, and it will go even higher before the next drawing on Saturday evening.
I don’t play the lottery, unless I see a news story that a lottery jackpot has soared beyond the half a billion dollar mark. When that happens, as it did today, I actually entertain the notion of paying for a lottery ticket. I figure that the odds against winning any multi-state lottery are astronomical in the normal course, so why not wait until the promised payout is equally astronomical to even things out a bit and make it worth my while?
But, what’s the best strategy for picking the numbers? Because I normally avoid the lottery like the plague, I don’t have a set of lucky numbers that I play each time like the regulars do. So I’ve come up with a different strategy — to try to replicate the surrounding conditions that inevitably seem to apply to prior lottery winners, based on the news stories I’ve seen. A careful analysis suggests that, if the following conditions apply to your purchase, you’re much more likely to win:
- Drive a battered pick-up truck with a gun rack to a gas station in a remote rural area
- Pick up a pint of whiskey or a fifth of MD 20-20 and a bag of Cheese Puffs when you buy your ticket
- Flash at least three missing teeth and use “y’all” repeatedly when giving the attendant your numbers
- Get into an uncomfortably loud public shouting match with your spouse as you head back to the pick-up
- Display a “Trump ’16 Make America Great Again” bumper sticker as you drive away
Are there any others?