Today my secretary walked into my office and said, “I didn’t know you smoked.”
“I don’t,” I responded.
“Marlboro apparently thinks differently,” she replied with a laugh, and then handed me a black box that I’d gotten in the mail.
I looked at it, and sure enough, the return address on the label said it was from Marlboro. I removed the black cardboard outer sleeve, and inside was a black flip-top box with “Happy Birthday” written all over it. Not exactly festive birthday colors, there, Marlboro! It was almost like Dr. Kevorkian was sending me birthday greetings.
And then I realized that, coming from Marlboro, black was probably a pretty appropriate color. But what the hell kind of birthday present would Marlboro send? A black carved wooden figure of the Grim Reaper? A black cigarette lighter? A black ashtray with a laughing skull or a blood red caduceus in the center?
Nope. Underneath a card that showed a cowboy pitching horseshoes somewhere out west were some ear buds for an iPod, with different sized plugs depending on your earhole size. Customized ear buds! Pretty weird, Marlboro. Pretty darned weird.
It didn’t make me want to go out and buy a pack of cigarettes, by the way.