Today the Columbus Dispatch carried a story noting that Columbus ranked number 8 in the country in the number of dog bites of postal workers. There were 43 dog attacks on postal workers in Columbus in 2015 — more than twice the number of dog attacks the prior year.
What’s weird is that the Dispatch considered this to be news at all. Literally, it’s a “dog bites man” story, and therefore is the classic definition of non-news. Dog bites happen regularly in our humdrum, everyday lives. Postal workers get bitten by dogs so often they train postal workers to deal with it, and they even keep statistics on it. And when Columbus isn’t even at the top of the dog-bite list, but comes in at number 8 — which is a pretty undistinguished number, too, when you think about it — and trails Cleveland in this dubious category, its clear there is absolutely nothing noteworthy about it.
From the Dispatch‘s publication of this quintessential non-story, I think we can safely assume that today was a slow news day in Columbus, Ohio. Tomorrow we’ll probably crack open our newspapers to look for breathless front page reports that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west.