We’ve got a wedding in the family coming up later this year. Although the blessed event itself is still months in the future, the time for carefully analyzing and evaluating what dresses should be worn to the wedding and the rehearsal dinner apparently is . . . now!
I had no idea that quite so many websites featured dresses for the family members who are attending weddings. Dresses of every imaginable length, cut, and hemline. Dresses with jackets and without. Dresses that feature something mysteriously called a “bodice.” Sleeveless dresses, dresses with poofy shoulders, and dresses with curious slashes, like they’ve been attacked by Freddy Krueger. Dresses in every conceivable color of the rainbow, from azure to lilac, from saffron to magenta, from sea foam to garnet, with every subtle gradation and shade in between.
Never has fashion been the subject of such passion.
For the husband, there is no avoiding it. When I get home I’m going to be asked to choose between dress styles with subtle differences discernible only to Parisian designers. I’m going to be asked whether I prefer the periwinkle or the lavender, the teal or the aquamarine. And, because every dress website that Kish has accessed has deposited a girl scout squadron’s worth of cookies on our home computer, every pop up ad on every sports website that I check these days features solemn women modeling dresses.
After some weeks of this, I suddenly became concerned. “Honey, should I be worried about what I’m going to wear to the wedding?” I asked. Kish laughed heartily. “Don’t worry about it,” she said. “No one pays attention to what a man is wearing.”
Too bad, because I was thinking of something in cornflower.