The spring allergies hit like a freight train over the weekend, leaving me a drippy, sodden mess. Their arrival is inevitable, but always quixotically unpredictable. This year, my allergies came earlier than ever. I never know why they are timed as they are, or whether the unpredictability is just part of their devilish game to inflict maximum disruption and physical malaise.
When the allergies come, there’s nothing you can do but suffer through — that, and compose some really bad verse:
Ode To My Allergies
Now I’m sniffling and sneezing, with sinuses adrain!
Oh, allergies! My allergies! You leave my head befogged
And my ears and nasal passages feeling heavily clogged.
Oh, allergies! My allergies! My wallet you also vex,
’cause thanks to you I now must buy 10 boxes of Kleenex!
Oh, allergies! My allergies! You literally are a pill.
Each year when you arrive I gobble lots of Benadryl.
Oh, allergies! My allergies! You ruin a day or two,
but I’d rather deal with congestion than a bad case of the flu.