I get my hair cut at one of those unisex hair styling salons by the Platinum Stylist. Kish gets her hair done there by the PS, too. It’s a nice place with friendly staffers, conveniently located about halfway between the office and our house, and the Platinum Stylist always does a terrific job.
Because I go to a unisex salon, where about two-thirds of the clientele on any given visit are female, my appointments give me a brief exposure to the trends in women’s hair through the big posters that are always advertising women’s hair care products and styles — like this one that was hanging in the front window yesterday. The posters always feature sultry, heavy-lidded women with vaguely haunted looks whose hair is carefully arranged to look . . . well, unarranged. It’s as if some women want to go to the stylist and come out looking like they haven’t been there at all. For most men, though, the goal is the exact opposite. We want to get a clearly noticeable haircut, whatever style or amount of barbering we might choose, so that the whole process facially justifies the cost.
The words used in the women’s hair care posters inevitably are different than what would be used in male-oriented ads, too. Sure, “effortless” would appeal to both men and women, but I’m guessing men would define it differently. For women, an “effortless” coiff might require ten minutes of curling, claying, molding, brushing, shaping and spraying. For men, an “effortless” style means something that can be toweled off after a shower and put into place with no more than ten seconds of diffident combing.
I’m not sure most men would be attracted by the promise that a certain product would leave their hair looking “touchable” or “tousled,” either. I’m not particularly keen about anybody touching my hair; in fact, I don’t particularly want to touch it myself. It’s hair, after all. My basic hair goal is the opposite of the “tousled,” just rolled out of bed look. Instead, I want to at least appear to have tried to do something to attack the stupid cowlick that always pops up on the crown of my head. And whereas women’s hair ads always seem to be talking about “texture,” that seems like a lost cause to me. When the word that best describes the “texture” of your hair would probably be “grizzled,” no “texture tonic” is going to help.