Hold The Mayo, Already

The Gleeful Retiree has many good qualities, but — knowing I find mayonnaise appalling — he enjoys tormenting me with breaking news about mayo-related culinary developments.

p-1-should-we-give-the-new-mayonnaise-ice-cream-a-chanceSo, on any given day, I might check my email and find a story about how great it is to serve mayonnaise with french fries (or “Belgian frites,” according to Martha Stewart), which sounds pretty disgusting.  But the topper came when he sent a link about mayonnaise ice cream, which undoubtedly could replace Ipecac as an effective vomit-inducing agent.  Just thinking about it makes me cringe — and I’ve got to believe that that reaction is shared by 99.9% of the food consumers of the world.

What’s going on here?  Is there some mad scientist somewhere who is hell-bent on trying to develop a mayonnaise-based variation on every beloved food item?   What’s next?  Mayo-flavored Cheetos?  Mayo Snickers bars?  Mayo brownies?  The mind reels — and my stomach sours — at the possibilities.