It’s been a while since we “sprang forward,” but everywhere you still find clocks that are running on standard time. They aren’t “smart” clocks that are linked to the internet; no, they’re dumb, stand-alone units in wayward places. These poor, ignored clocks, like the clock on the microwave at the coffee station on my floor, are running an hour behind because no one is responsible for adjusting their settings. They’ve been cast onto the grim, littered curb of the information superhighway.
Pity the neglected clocks of America that, through no fault of their own, are doomed to fail in performing their sole and essential purpose — to give accurate time! So this year I’m adopting every orphan clock I see, and doing whatever is necessary to reset their time to return them to total time-telling accuracy. Call me the Clock Samaritan, or the Time Fairy, but it’s time someone makes a stand.
Won’t you help?