The Pleasures Of Kicking Some Steeler Ass

It’s pretty crass to use “ass” in a blog post headline.  I admit it.  But when your team has a record of utter futility against a divisional opponent and arch-rival — to the point that the opposing quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger, has an 18-1 record against you — we Browns fans feel like we can be forgiven a little crassness.

I watched the game with family and friends at a bar called Yogi’s over in Hilliard, and the prevailing sense among Browns fans in the bar was that of . . . disbelief.  Complete, utter, disbelief.  Was that really our Browns out there, beating the Steelers like a drum and making big play after big play on offense and defense?  Were the Browns really winning a game handily for a change, rather than forcing us to endure another nail-biter finish?

Since the Browns came back into the NFL in 1999, the fans have been looking for something that might cause them to think that the franchise has turned the corner.  There have been false alarms before — so many that one win isn’t going to convince me of anything.  Still, it’s nice to beat up on the Steelers and to see this Browns team play a complete game.  Now let’s hope that this team can keep it up and string together a few wins so that Browns fans actually have something to care about as this season progresses.  Go Browns!

The Appalling Cruelty Of It All

I watched the first half of the Browns game today, and they sucked — thoroughly and completely.  With the score 27-3 in favor of the hated Steelers, the cause was hopeless.  Rather than waste the day watching a disaster, ranting incoherently at the TV set, I decided to do something else.  So, Kish and I ran an errand.

Of course, it wasn’t that simple.  I got a tantalizing text from Russell about how the Browns coaching staff had done some good work at halftime.  Hmmm.  Could the Browns at least be making a credible showing in the second half?  We were on the road, so I turned on the radio, and heard that the Browns had closed the gap to 27-17.  We ran our errand, and when I came out the score was 27-20.  Then, as we pulled in to the driveway, the Browns tied it at 27, and Russell sent another text:  “You watching this?”

And that was the decision point, right there.  Watch, and hope?  Or don’t watch, fearing that I would jinx the comeback?  I mentally flipped a coin and decided to watch.  Of course I did!  The evil demons of sports knew I would.  They knew I would invest my soul in hoping for a win, and the chances for tormenting me would be virtually endless.  So once I sat in the chair, the Browns offense basically ground to a halt, and things started to go wrong.  A missed assignment on a fake punt.  A chance to down the ball on the 1 that was muffed.  A last series that saw the Browns lose yards and hand the Steelers great field position.  And then, inevitably, some completions and a game-winning field goal for the Steelers as time ran out, and a final, parting shot of a grinning Ben Roethlisberger.

What could be more cruel?  I wouldn’t have felt more violated if I’d been kicked in the crotch by an angry dwarf.  So, after vowing that I wouldn’t lose my temper, with my insides scourged once again by the results of a game, I raged and cursed and frightened the dogs.  And the demons smiled, knowing that they had done a good day’s work . . . again.

The Season Limps To A Close

The Browns play their final game of the year on Sunday.  It will be a home matchup against their bitter rival, the Pittsburgh Steelers.  The game means everything to the Steelers, who are fighting to win the division and get a first-round bye.  For the Browns, the game is all about pride and rivalry, as the Browns have been out of the playoff hunt for weeks.

This game should be a mismatch.  The Steelers are one of the best teams in the NFL.  Their defense is terrific — the best in the NFL against the run — and their offense is balanced and productive.  They are a seasoned team that routinely makes the playoffs, and this game is important to their Super Bowl prospects.  The Browns, on the other hand, seem to have hit the wall both offensively and defensively.  Offensively, the Browns struggle to score points; they have not reached 20 points in the last four games.  Last week, the Ravens shut down Peyton Hillis and the Browns’ running game and picked off rookie quarterback Colt McCoy three times.  The Steelers can also be expected to focus on stuffing the run and harassing McCoy.  Defensively, the Browns seem to be getting worn down.  The Ravens and the Bengals both moved the ball on the ground against the Browns, and the Steelers will try to do the same with Rashard Mendenhall, one of the best backs in the league.  The Steelers, moreover, will bring Ben Roethlisberger and a better passing game, too.

It is disheartening for Browns fans to see another season grind to a close without a playoff berth, but the players and, in particular, head coach Eric Mangini and his staff cannot afford to be disheartened.  They are fighting for their jobs and coming to an end of a season that has seen some progress.  It would be nice to see the Browns’ final record come in at 6-10, rather than duplicating last year’s 5-11 mark.  And, of course, it would be sweet to see the Browns beat the Steelers and throw a wrench into their playoff plans.  Rivalries aren’t really rivalries if the underdog doesn’t rise up and win once in a while.  Now would be a good time for the Browns to do so.