At The Far End Of The Comparative Pain Scale

If you’ve ever had any kind of painful injury, a doctor probably asked you to assess the extent of your pain using a smiley face scale like the one shown above. Often, quantifying pain is difficult, and you may have mulled over whether your condition came in at a four or a five on the scale.

Sometimes, though, the pain scale assessment is easy. For example, right now pretty much everyone involved in the investment world is at 10–suffering through the worst possible pain with the reddest, most anguished non-smiley face. In fact, if there were an 11 on the pain scale, like the speakers on This Is Spinal Tap, the current market conditions would qualify.

Words don’t adequately describe just how awful the investment markets are right now. Across the board, every form of investment is getting creamed. The S&P 500 has fallen more than 20 percent since January, moving into “bear market” territory, and bond prices have “tanked.” Cryptocurrencies have gotten crushed. Even good old cash in the bank isn’t safe, as inflation rates continue to climb–and the New York Times reports that the May inflation results suggest that the inflation rate may be “accelerating.”

If it is any consolation, everyone is getting pulverized. The Bloomberg Billionaires Index shows that the world’s 500 richest people have lost $1.4 trillion this year. It may make you feel better to know that Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk, and Jeff Bezos have all reportedly lost more than $60 billion this year. Of course, even those staggering losses leave them plenty of money to fall back on–which isn’t the case for most of the people who are investors.

If you are a retiree or someone who is getting close to retirement who sees the value of the portfolio and savings that you are counting on to fund your retirement years falling every day, you wonder what to do. There doesn’t appear to be any safe harbor in any of the standard, or even not-so-standard, investment options. With no viable options, most of us will just try to ride out this intensely painful period, avoid making decisions that lock in the impact of the current downturn, try not to constantly check the market indices, and hope that the needle on the pain scale starts to move in a more favorable direction.

-Aire Jordan

The latest Forbes magazine list of billionaires has come out.  Unfortunately, I’m not on it — but Michael Jordan is.  In fact, Forbes determined that Jordan made a mind-boggling $100 million last year to enter the exclusive billionaires’ club.

How did Michael Jordan become a billionaire?  Basically, it’s because he owns a big chunk of an NBA team — his share of the Charlotte Hornets is estimated to have a net value of $500 million — and because he’s got the ultimate brand, even though he’s been retired from the NBA for more than a decade.  Last year he made $100 million from Air Jordan sales.  More than $2.6 billion of his shoes were sold — or more than half of the U.S. basketball shoe market.  Even at Air Jordan prices, that is a lot of shoes.

People often begrudge the wealthy all of the dough they’ve accumulated, but it’s hard to imagine anyone getting too upset about Michael Jordan’s wealth.  He was a great player who built a great reputation and then a brand, and he’s made a lot of savvy decisions for himself since he hung up his own Air Jordans.  In an era when many athletes are breaking the law or frittering away their millions on their “posses” or frivolities, Jordan has been smart — and a guide for other athletes who want to end their playing days with money in the bank and future prospects for more.

It would be good for athletes the world over if more of them wanted to Be Like Mike.