When I was tailgating at an Ohio State game recently, a fellow fan handed me a “ReadyBrush” packet from her purse.
Not familiar with this groundbreaking product, you say? A “ReadyBrush” is a “toothbrush with toothpaste bonded to the bristles.” You just wet the bristles, and you are ready to attack the plaque. The packet — which is “sealed in freshness” — says the ReadyBrush can be used “before date,” while traveling, after lunch, after cocktails, and “school/camp.” (Camp? Seriously?!? Perhaps camp has changed significantly since the ’60s, but I suspect that even today any fastidious boy who broke out a ReadyBrush after a few ‘smores around the campfire would immediately be pantsed and securely trussed to the flagpole.)
The great unanswered question about this product is why you would ever need a ReadyBrush. If you constantly crave that minty fresh taste, why not just carry a toothbrush and a travel-sized tube of AquaFresh? Under what circumstances would the ReadyBrush be your only viable option to achieve maximum breath freshness?
And what does it tell you about the friendly individual who carries a supply of ReadyBrush packets sufficient to distribute to apparently dragon-breathed fellow tailgaters? What other handy items might be in her Purse of Preparedness, aside from the inevitable Swiss army knife? Water purification tablets? Gas mask? One week’s supply of freeze-dried food? $3,000 in Krugerrands?