Lab Rats

Forbes has reported that Facebook “conducted secret tests to determine the magnitude of its Android users’ Facebook addiction.”  In the tests, which apparently occurred several years ago, users of the Facebook app for Android were subject to intentional crashes of the app. without being informed of the tests.

Why would Facebook want to provoke crashes that would frustrate users who were trying to wish a Facebook friend happy birthday or post their latest selfie?  Purportedly, to test the “resilience” of Facebook users.  If your app suddenly crashed, would you just say the hell with Facebook, or would you try to access Facebook through an internet browser instead, or through a different app?

paralyzed-ratsWhen you think about it, intentional crashes aren’t really testing “resilience” — they’re testing obsession and addiction.  After a crash, a rational person would avoid Facebook, for a while at least, reasoning that time was needed for anonymous techno-geeks at some far off location to address the cause of the crash and fix it.  Only somebody desperate for an immediate Facebook fix would spend time searching to get to Facebook via alternative means, because nothing time sensitive ever really happens on Facebook.  You can always send your friend an email expressing birthday wishes, or save that choice Throwback Thursday photo until next week.

But the point, of course, isn’t whether it’s resilience or obsession that is being tested — it’s the fact that Facebook is intentionally frustrating its users at all.  It sounds like the kind of experiment some evil scientist with a futuristic base on a remote island might use on hapless prisoners.  After all, why would you knowingly thwart the efforts of somebody who is trying to access your website?  Facebook no doubt would shrug and say the tests provided needed information — but really, it did the tests because it could . . . and it was confident that Facebook fans would keep coming back.

We shouldn’t be surprised by this:  Facebook has done similar kinds of tests before, and other companies do, too.  On the internet, we’re all lab rats.  Our movements are tracked constantly, but instead of scientists in white coats checking when we take a sip from the water dropper or stop running on the wheel or are responding to the electrodes placed on our hind quarters, data is compiled about which websites we visit, how long we stay there, what we click on, and whether we’re showing an interest in one product or another so that we can be bombarded with pop-up ads for that product forever.

Time for another spin on the wheel!

-Aire Jordan

The latest Forbes magazine list of billionaires has come out.  Unfortunately, I’m not on it — but Michael Jordan is.  In fact, Forbes determined that Jordan made a mind-boggling $100 million last year to enter the exclusive billionaires’ club.

How did Michael Jordan become a billionaire?  Basically, it’s because he owns a big chunk of an NBA team — his share of the Charlotte Hornets is estimated to have a net value of $500 million — and because he’s got the ultimate brand, even though he’s been retired from the NBA for more than a decade.  Last year he made $100 million from Air Jordan sales.  More than $2.6 billion of his shoes were sold — or more than half of the U.S. basketball shoe market.  Even at Air Jordan prices, that is a lot of shoes.

People often begrudge the wealthy all of the dough they’ve accumulated, but it’s hard to imagine anyone getting too upset about Michael Jordan’s wealth.  He was a great player who built a great reputation and then a brand, and he’s made a lot of savvy decisions for himself since he hung up his own Air Jordans.  In an era when many athletes are breaking the law or frittering away their millions on their “posses” or frivolities, Jordan has been smart — and a guide for other athletes who want to end their playing days with money in the bank and future prospects for more.

It would be good for athletes the world over if more of them wanted to Be Like Mike.