The Random Restaurant Tour–LIV

In Texas, for many people at least, Whataburger has a reputation of almost mythical proportions. The zealous dedication of these fans to the brand and its food offerings is so extraordinary that, in extreme cases, Whataburger fans have constructed impressive Christmas trees from the franchise’s discarded fast-food packaging, with its trademark bright orange color.

Any fast-food emporium that can inspire that kind of slavish devotion from American consumers must have something going for it, right? So yesterday, as I paid my first-ever visit to a Whataburger, I felt a surge of high expectations, anticipating an extraordinary burger experience. What I found was a pretty good burger, but an overall dining experience that fell a bit short of the hype.

I ordered a double Whataburger, fries, and a diet Coke. The normal Whataburger comes with mustard, onions, tomato, lettuce, and grilled onions chopped into little squares. Interestingly, cheese isn’t part of the standard order; you have to ask for it specially. I didn’t know that, but I did know that I didn’t want the lettuce, tomato, and pickles. Through this combination of intent and ignorance, I ended up with a cheeseless double Whataburger with onions and mustard.. It’s probably the first cheeseless burger I’ve had in a half century, so that alone made the experience memorable.

The Whataburger was pretty good. The mustard is a nice touch, as are the onions, and the meat was of good quality. Getting a burger without cheese is like getting a cake without icing, in my view, but if you go that route you definitely taste the meat more distinctly–so obviously you want to make sure the meat is tasty. Whataburger offers a nice spicy jalapeno ketchup, part of a tray of topping offerings that they bring to your table, like the waiter at a nice restaurant bringing an array of different tea options to tea drinkers. I tried the spicy ketchup, and it had a decent kick to it. All of these elements were positives for me.

The bun, though, was nothing to write home about, and the burger wasn’t served piping hot. That’s an issue, because heat is a key element of a good burger. The biggest disappointment, though, was the fries. When I saw they were of the shoestring variety I was encouraged, but alas! They were dried out and lukewarm, and tasted like they had spent an an excessive amount of time under one of those blazing food heat lamps. In short, it seemed that the fries part of the meal equation had been sadly neglected.

One of our party said that we had caught Whataburger on an off day, and we should try it for lunch another time at another location. I would do that, and be sure to order cheese on the burger this time. But on this occasion, at least, the experience failed to live up to the advance publicity.

Excited About Fries!

I passed this sign on the door of a Boise gyro shop yesterday and it made me laugh. When was the last time that French fries, long a staple of the American fast food diet, merited an exclamation point? 1948? And I’m in Idaho, for gosh sakes — the potato capital of the world, where you would expect every eatery to feature spuds galore. And it’s a gyro shop, to boot; gyros and fries have been linked since time immemorial.

So the Gyro Shack is just now adding fries to the menu? There’s a back story there somewhere.

Totally Fried

Yesterday I went to lunch and had a cheeseburger.  I got the combo, which came with fried potatoes.  They weren’t exactly french fries, because the potato had been sliced horizontally, rather than vertically, in an obvious bid to introduce a slight difference to a lunchtime staple — but they were fried potatoes, just the same.

As I sat at a table, munching on one of the potato slices and gazing down at the remainder, I realized that I’ve had it up to here with fried potatoes.  Cheeseburgers never get old, but I think I’ve hit, and now surpassed, my spud tolerance threshold.  And I suspect that I’m not alone, because restaurants seem to be desperate in their search to serve potatoes in a different form.  In the past few weeks my cheeseburgers have been accompanied by tater tots, and thick-cut “steak fries,” and potato wedges, and “natural-cut” fries with some of the potato skin still on, and kettle chips, and “shoestring potatoes,” and sweet potato fries, . . . and of course standard, run-of-the-mill, french fries.  It’s been more potatoes than a cheeseburger aficionado should reasonably be expected to endure.

Some time in the distant past, before the cheeseburger combo meal was invented, people ate side dishes that consisted of food items other than fried potatoes, so we know that potato-free dining is, in fact, possible.  Cooks and chefs and restaurant owners of America, it’s time for you to rise to the challenge!  Bring your culinary creativity to bear!  Cast aside your sacks of potatoes, and put down the potato peelers!

We cheeseburger consumers beseech you to find an alternative to the ubiquitous side of french fries.  Crispy plantain slices, perhaps, or carrots, or apple chips, or even crispy kale — I’m so desperate I’ll try just about anything other than a greasy mound of spuds that have been sliced or diced in some fashion and tossed into the deep fryer.