During the cold, dank, seemingly endless winter, forces of evil apparently attacked my yard. Under cover of darkness and blanket of snow, terrible lawn creatures invaded and ruthlessly displaced our attractive carpet of velvety grass.
Spring has brought the unwelcome realization that our front yard appears to have a serious case of lawn mange. Where tender shoots of pleasant green once grew we now find bare spots, crab grass, spreading sawtoothed dandelion leaves, and other unsightly, weedy characters. The yard has a distinctly clumpy, uneven look to it. And in the center of one of our lawn sections there is an angry-looking, purple-topped plant that appears to be the youthful version of the man-devouring miscreant from Little Shop of Horrors.
Having an ugly spring lawn is embarrassing, but it can have its advantages. Dogs find our yard so appalling that they refuse to even answer the call of nature there. Rabbits treat our property like a death zone. And the lawn undoubtedly will increase our interaction with our neighbors, because if things don’t take a turn for the better we can expect a friendly visit from the Civic Association.
It’s time to call the lawn service and encourage them to move immediately to the nuclear option.
Yesterday, I just couldn’t take it anymore. Ouchy back and all, I got down on my hands and knees to weed the front yard.
I don’t know if it was caused by our warmer than normal winter, or if our grass is just getting wearing out, or if our lawn care service changed the spraying schedule and deferred the weed killer application, but this spring we have been beset by a grotesque plague of weeds. Dandelions, clover, and other ugly looking plants had sprung up everywhere, ruining the uniform, velvety green carpet all homeowners aspire to and making our yard look like a patchwork quilt of unsightliness. It was offensive to look at, and I didn’t want the neighbors to think that we were letting our yard go to seed.
So I went out on weed patrol, with my paper bag and my weed control tools. I know spraying is effective, but I think it’s best to get down close to the spot, get some dirt under your fingernails, and dig the weeds out roots and all. I use some spoon-sized shovels to get under the weeds and work them out of the ground; dandelions, for example, come out with a satisfying pop. And, because I’m using small shovel, the yard doesn’t end up looking like I’ve got a gopher problem.
I worked on the front and side yards for a few hours yesterday and left them looking moderately presentable. Neighborhood pride is a powerful motivator.