Drive-Thru Death

Businesses are always pushing the envelope with drive-thru options. Some work, some don’t, but no company thinks it will go broke by assuming that many Americans would rather do just about everything while their plump behinds are resting comfortably on the pillow-like seats of their vehicles.

But . . . a drive-thru option that allows you to take a gander at the dearly departed from behind the wheel of your car?  That’s what one Virginia funeral home is offering.  Just go to the drive-thru lane, take a good look through the plate-glass window at the deceased, check the sign saying when the burial will occur, and head on home.

Well, sure.  Why not?  It’s a pain to get out of your car and wait in line during calling hours.  Those lines seem to take forever, don’t they?  And then, when you reach the casket and the distraught family members, it can be such a downer trying to say a few comforting words and express how much the person who has passed meant to you.  And standing next to a corpse in a casket can be so creepy!  If you see it through the window, you avoid those awkward moments with the bereaved and can see the body from a comfortable physical and emotional distance — like it was on TV.

And speaking of TV, why not just set up a “casket cam” that sending streaming video of the decedent to anyone who logs in on the internet, and makes death even more convenient for us all?  It seems like the logical next step.