Yesterday I was walking down the street, minding my own business, when I noticed two women who apparently were surprised to see each other. Their eyes opened wide and they each made, in perfect unison, high-pitched noises that sounded like “squeeeeee!”
I’m assuming that they then hugged each other — which seems to be the standard practice under those circumstances — but I couldn’t tell for sure because my glasses cracked. I also don’t know whether they made any additional noises thereafter, because every dog within a 10-block radius started barking simultaneously and my ears began bleeding.
Seriously, what’s with this form of female-to-female greeting that unfortunately seems to be growing increasingly commonplace, regardless of the age of the people in question? What is it about the prospect of seeing a friend that causes vocal tones to be raised at least one full octave? I don’t want to quash anybody’s happy greeting, but can we at least lower the decibel level on the squeeeee! factor to some kind of point that is reasonably tolerable to human beings?