Black Friday can bite me.
I’m tired of hearing about it, tired of the spectacle of grown people embarrassing themselves and acting like idiots to try to get the latest hot toy or specially priced flat-screen TV that will only be available to the first 50 customers, and tired of the talking heads talking, talking, talking about how important Black Friday is to the health of our economy and its retail sector.
Go out and buy, buy, buy! Curse the lack of parking! Groan when you see the length of the check-out line! Feel the surge of anger when some jerk cuts in front of you or blocks the aisle or doesn’t watch their bratty kid who is knocking items off the shelves!
So today you won’t find me at the shopping malls. When I think of Black Friday, I think of the classic tune from Steely Dan’s Katy Lied, performed live below in 2006. My favorite lyrics from the song have a certain resonance on Black Friday, the dreaded shopping day:
When Black Friday comes
I’m gonna dig myself a hole
Gonna lay down in it ’til
I satisfy my soul
Gonna let the world pass by me
The Archbishop’s gonna sanctify me
And if he don’t come across
I’m gonna let it roll