Time For TV To Go Easy On Us

Kish and I have watched the first two episodes of Designated Survivor, the new ABC drama.  Starring Kiefer Sutherland, it tells the story of a Secretary of the Department of Housing and Urban Affairs who is named the “designated survivor” for a State of the Union address.  He doesn’t go to the speech so that, in the case of some massive attack on the Capitol, he is protected and can become the new President.

Of course, that’s exactly what happens.  The Capitol building is blown up, the President and Vice President, the rest of the Cabinet, the Supreme Court, and all of the members of Congress except for one congressional “designated survivor” are killed.  The stunned Secretary of HUD, who was on the brink of being fired, has to take over the reins of a shocked government where governors and angry generals are immediately ready to throw him overboard and go their own way.  We don’t know yet who launched the attack, or why.  And, of course, foreign governments express their official condolences but are immediately trying to take advantage of the disarray in the U.S. government.

It’s a well-made show, and it’s good to see the Kiefer Sutherland whisper back on TV, but I have to say Designated Survivor is tough to watch.  Given the current awful presidential election and the kind of splintering effect it seems to be having in our society — coupled with protests and riots over police shootings, random terror attacks, and trouble everywhere we look overseas, among other issues — I really don’t need to see a realistic depiction of the Capitol dome blasted in half and FBI agents carting body bags from the rubble of what used to be the U.S. House of Representatives.  And if, as I suspect, we’re going to learn that the explosions weren’t the work of foreign terrorists at all, but rather some kind of domestic plot, it’s just going to make things worse.

TV has long had its apocalyptic shows, where ordinary people have to deal with zombies, aliens, and death-dealing viruses.  But a realistic show about an attack that wipes out most of the U.S. government and exposes the deep divisions lurking just beneath the surface hits a little bit too close to home these days.

C’mon, TV producers!  Give us a break.  We’re feeling a little fragile here!

When Jack Comes Back . . . .

When we last saw Jack Bauer, he was walking into the sunset as a deeply moved Chloe O’Brian watched with a tender smile.  Now Fox has announced that Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer and 24 will be back, for a miniseries starting next year.

What has happened to Jack, and what kind of perils will he be confronting when he returns to the small screen?  Beats me, but here are some ideas:

*  Haunted by the fact that he murdered Chappelle in cold blood at the instruction of former President David Palmer, Jack has sworn off violence and become a French pastry chef.  But when Tony Almeida is ruthlessly gunned down while buying a baguette at Jack’s bakery, Jack must spring into action to avenge the death of his old comrade.

*  Haunted by disturbing nightmares of being chased by several forever-comatose ex-presidents and Charles Logan with the arms of the Hulk, Jack has been become a fitness instructor.  His clients love him for the results he achieves, even though he motivates them to exercise through random acts of torture.  But when his loyal client, the National Security Advisor who happens to be David Palmer’s half-sister, is seized by French terrorists seeking to restore the Holy Roman Empire, Jack must once again shoulder the Jack Pack to battle the forces of evil.

*  Haunted by the fact that he failed to detect the presence of countless moles at CTU, Jack has become a real-life mole exterminator.  But when his excavations to knock off the furry critters infesting a large California estate uncovers nuclear devices, fatal gas canisters, and biomedical weapons planted at the estate in advance of a presidential fundraising visit, Jack is sucked into a high-energy race against time to foil the plotting of former President turned terrorist Allison Taylor.

*  Haunted by the fact that he never answered the call of nature or ate any food for days at a time, Jack has spent the last two years in the bathroom eating fried chicken and whispering inaudibly.  But when a sobbing President Chloe O’Brian calls to tell Jack that her two children have been kidnapped by her ersatz nanny, in reality an agent of the North Korean government, Jack must set down the drumstick to help his old friend and fend off an invasion led by his estranged daughter, who has been brainwashed by the North Korean state.

Well, you get the idea.

The Return Of 24?

Could we soon see the return of Jack Bauer, Chloe, implausible coincidences, and the deaths of scores of nameless, faceless innocents?

Fox apparently is in talks with Kiefer Sutherland to bring back 24, the rock ’em, sock ’em, “real time” drama about superman Jack Bauer, super-helper Chloe O’Brian, soulful Tony Almeida, and the otherwise horribly inept counter-terrorism team at CTU.  They’ve fought foreign and domestic terrorists, dealt with gas attacks and nuclear blasts, and watched as co-workers were knocked off, exposed as moles, or shown to be craven blowhards.  They’ve experienced countless plot twists, broken every constitutional right afforded to American citizens, and applauded as Jack Bauer has used torture to wring confessions from appalling evildoers (including his brother).

Sutherland’s current series, Touch, was not renewed.  It was a show with an interesting premise, but this season it became a lot more like 24, as Sutherland’s character and his son and their allies fought an ultra-powerful corporation that was using human subjects to advance its evil corporate agenda.  So why not just bring back Jack Bauer in full, give him his PDA and his Jack Pack and his pistol, and let the death pool begin anew?

Touch, And Its Liberal/Conservative Messages

With House drawing to a close, Kish and I are casting about for another TV show to watch on a regular basis.  We’ve watched the first few episodes of the new Fox series Touch, and it’s intriguing enough that we’ll keep watching.

The show’s back story is complicated.  Kiefer Sutherland is Martin, a former reporter whose wife was killed on September 11.  Since then, he’s bounced from job to job and struggled to connect with his 11-year-old son Jake (David Mazouz).  Jake has never spoken and screams if he is touched by another human being, but his calm inner voice narrates the episodes.  It turns out that he is one of a handful of people who see the numerical patterns in the world that connect us all.  With the help of a rogue psychologist played by Danny Glover, Martin has figured out that Jake is trying to communicate with him through numbers and guide him to help make connections between people.  In the meantime, the state Department of Social Services, through a social worker played by Gugu Mbatha-Raw, questions Martin’s ability to care for Jake and may take him away.  Throw in two giggly young Japanese women who wear ridiculous outfits and pop up from time to time and a cell phone that is being randomly passed from person to person, and you’ve got the general gist of the show.  (Whew!)

The show features an interesting interplay of messages.  The notion that we all are interconnected, and that a bottle cap placed under a school window in Africa might later affect a crowd at an international dance contest, has obvious touchy-feely, let’s all have a good hug New Age heightened consciousness overtones.

At the same time, however, there seems to be a definite conservative, anti-government message lurking underneath.  Jake is well-fed and lives in a safe, secure home; why is a busybody government agency pestering Martin and presuming to judge whether he is fit to care for his son?  And although the government agency blames Martin for incidents where Jake escapes his school and climbs to the top of towers, after the agency takes Jake for evaluation it incompetently lets him escape, too.  And the positive connections that are made are solely the result of the actions of Jake, Martin, and other individuals — not any government program or bureaucracy.

If you’re in the mood for some frivolity when the 9 p.m. Thursday showtime rolls around, play a drinking game where you take a swig of your adult beverage of choice every time Martin shouts “Jake!”  (Of course, Jake doesn’t answer — you’d think Martin would have learned that by now.)  But pace yourself — with Jake’s escape artist abilities and the ineptitude of the social workers, it happens dozens of times an episode.  If you don’t watch out, by the end of the show you’ll be seeing your own special patterns in the world around us.

The 24 Movie

When a popular TV show ends, it’s not unusual for fans to be promised that a movie will be forthcoming.  Sometimes it happens (think Star Trek, for example) but often it doesn’t.  Deadwood fans were told movies would happen, but they haven’t.  (More’s the pity!)

It’s looking more and more like 24 will actually make it to the big screen.  Kiefer Sutherland — excuse me, I mean Jack Bauer — said this past weekend that the movie will begin filming this spring.  He added that the movie will pick up about six months after the end of the series and, like the TV show, will follow the characters during one 24-hour period.  The plot will involve the scowling, cranky, indomitable Chloe O’Brian, ace computer hacker and one of the most original TV characters ever.

There’s always trepidation when a favorite TV show gets the movie treatment.  Sometimes the gist of a TV show gets lost between the small screen and the big screen.  Twin Peaks was (for the most part) a great TV show; the movie wasn’t.

Let’s hope that the 24 movie is able to capture the frantic pace, the constant conspiratorial twists, and the rapidly mounting death toll that made the TV show so enjoyable.  And who knows?  Maybe we’ll get to see something we haven’t seen before — like Jack Bauer coming out of a bathroom.