This morning I stopped at the grocery store on my way back from my morning walk and there, on the magazine rack in the check-out lane, was a Time-Life tribute to Marilyn Monroe. It’s pretty amazing when you think of it: More than 50 years after her death, she still commands precious impulse-buying space in America’s retail establishments and remains capable of knocking the currently famous off the racks. And, as the magazine cover shows, she’s one of the few “one-word” celebrities, too — just “Marilyn.”
Marilyn Monroe has to be the most durable celebrity in American history — and given America’s longstanding obsession with celebrities, that’s saying something.
What is it about Marilyn Monroe that causes magazine publishers to roll out new editions about her, when most of the current magazine-buying public wasn’t even born at the time of her death? She was a beauty and sexual icon, of course, who was a gifted comic actress and likable personality on the big screen. She married famous men and divorced them, reportedly had dalliances with politicians and jet-setters, and died a mysterious death. It’s an interesting story, to be sure, but it has long since been told, over and over. And yet, here she is in the summer of 2017, once more in the public eye.
Will the fascination with Marilyn Monroe ever end? Is any other American celebrity even close to her in terms of staying power?
We’ve all heard stories about wedding day disasters involving a vomiting usher, an inept or appalling toast, a fainting groom, a participant left at the altar, split trousers, conga line failures, and other dance floor mishaps, the acting-out bridezilla, drunken, brawling guests, and countless other variations. However, this story about a telltale skidmark left when a kilt-wearing groom sat on his bride’s lap, causing the wedding to deteriorate into an alcohol-fueled melee, seems pretty hard to top.
As with so many stories of this type, the article covering the incident raises more questions than it answers. Wouldn’t the groom have detected, through smell or other senses, the presence of issues below the equator? Could anyone really be so drunk? Or was the crass Scottish groom at about the same level of gentility as the face-painting clansman of Braveheart? And if the groom actually sat down on his new wife’s lap in such a condition, wouldn’t his soiled rear end actually come into contact with his woolen kilt, rather than the white bridal gown? What, was he wearing some kind of mini-kilt? (If so, pity the other guests!) Or did he flounce down on the bride so that his kilt flapped in the breeze like Marilyn Monroe’s dress in The Seven-Year Itch? In short, could this story actually have happened?
If it did, the bride will want to get her gown cleaned before she stores it as a keepsake.