Sunglasses, By The Masses

Yesterday Kish and I were at a store and she bought two new pairs of sunglasses. It’s a familiar scene.  By my rough estimate, with these two new additions, Kish has now owned 3,461 pairs of sunglasses during our years of wedded bliss.

Unfortunately, the life spans of those unlucky eyewear items tend to be as fleeting as that of the common mayfly.  They inevitably end up lost, or destroyed, or otherwise discarded, left to join their brethren in the Great Sunglasses Beyond, where they fondly reminisce about their brief but crucial days of service in shielding the eyes of sensitive humans from the sun’s cruel glare.

If these two new pairs of sunglasses turn out to be anything like their predecessors, their likely fate is as follows:

Left on a restaurant table — 10%

Pulverized by heavy items in an enormous handbag — 15%

Chewed to smithereens by Penny — 22%

Fallen apart after cheap screw falls out of flimsy frame and can’t be found, even with use of magnifying glass — 17%

Inexplicably lost within 48 hours of purchase — 35.9%

Last long enough to become unfashionable — .1%