The Gleeful Retiree has many good qualities, but — knowing I find mayonnaise appalling — he enjoys tormenting me with breaking news about mayo-related culinary developments.
So, on any given day, I might check my email and find a story about how great it is to serve mayonnaise with french fries (or “Belgian frites,” according to Martha Stewart), which sounds pretty disgusting. But the topper came when he sent a link about mayonnaise ice cream, which undoubtedly could replace Ipecac as an effective vomit-inducing agent. Just thinking about it makes me cringe — and I’ve got to believe that that reaction is shared by 99.9% of the food consumers of the world.
What’s going on here? Is there some mad scientist somewhere who is hell-bent on trying to develop a mayonnaise-based variation on every beloved food item? What’s next? Mayo-flavored Cheetos? Mayo Snickers bars? Mayo brownies? The mind reels — and my stomach sours — at the possibilities.