Hotel Pillow Talk

Why do so many hotel rooms look like Parisian bordellos these days?

If you’ve been on the road for business travel lately, you know what I mean.  You get to a hotel room, unlock the door, turn on the light, and flop your stuff down on the bed — and it is covered in pillows.  There are the hotel-miniaturized versions of “normal” pillows, which usually are hidden from view.  Then there are the weird sausage-shaped pillows that look like they were swiped from a Tantric sex clinic or a Lamaze birthing class.  And finally there are the large, faux silk-covered “throw pillows” that are, I suppose, designed to make you feel like a Turkish sultan.  (Here’s a tip for hotel room interior decorators — Turkish sultans didn’t buy their harem pillows from a Target supplier at $2.59 apiece.)

I cannot imagine that anyone uses any of these weird pillows for the purpose of head rest during sleep.  You could not possibly sleep on the hotel bed with the pillows in their initial configuration without risking permanent neck injuries or disk dislocations.  So, the weary traveler must instead try to figure out where to put the extraneous pillows so that the shrimpy “normal” pillows can be accessed.  Usually, the weird pillows  end up on the floor, where they serve as obstacles when the traveler stumbles to the bathroom for that inevitable middle-of-the-night visit.

I can understand hotel designers wanting to add a bit of zing to otherwise cookie-cutter rooms, but I think the pillow approach is an irritating, abject failure.  The hotel experience is bound to be generic  to a certain extent.  I encourage hoteliers across America to resist the weird pillow syndrome, save the few bucks spent on acquiring the unusable pillows, and use that money to provide free wireless instead.