Starting The Season With The Worst Christmas Song Ever

Just my luck!  I do some channel surfing on the radio, hit one of those all-Christmas-music-all-the-time-stations, and my first exposure to holiday music is the worst Christmas song ever.

That’s right:  I started my festive holiday music season by having to endure another annoying and dispiriting rendition of Do You Hear What I Hear?  Setting aside “novelty” songs like Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer, Do You Hear What I Hear? is unquestionably the worst “mainstream” — that is, recorded by the likes of Bing Crosby — Christmas song in the book.  When I hear the predictable annual news reports about how many Americans experience depression during the Christmas season, I secretly attribute much of the rise in despondency and dejection to having to listen to this awful song played over and over again.

What makes Do You Hear What I Hear? so awesomely abominable?  Well, the forgettable melody is both uninspired and grating — but the real fingernails on a chalkboard impact comes from the lyrics.  Any song that begins with a “night wind” that can both see and speak talking to a “little lamb” about a star with “a tail as big as a kite” obviously is going to score high on both the cloying and inexplicable meters.  And when the little lamb then has a conversation with a “shepherd boy,” who in turn visits a “mighty king,”  the song crosses the line into irretrievable sappiness.  Apparently aiming for the mystical, the song instead come across like the cheesy plot line for a particularly bad Christmas cartoon.

It’s almost impossible to regain the proper Christmas spirit after having an initial exposure to Do You Hear What I Hear?  Fortunately, I resisted the temptation to kick over a Salvation Army bell ringer’s kettle and immersed myself in We Three Kings Of Orient Are and Jingle Bell Rock to regain my jovial holiday bearings.

Cleaning Out The Gear

Last week the University of Michigan cleaned house by firing former head football coach Rich Rodriguez, and now Rodriguez is engaging in his own kind of housecleaning.

Rodriguez donated 432 items of Michigan apparel — 12 bags full — to a Salvation Army store in Wayne, Michigan.  The assortment includes caps, shirts, and jackets, ranging from medium to 2XL.  The Salvation Army store is planning on having a sale of the materials today.

Twelve bags of Michigan stuff seems like a lot, but maybe every college football head coach keeps a kind of clothing store at their house, at the ready in case some stud recruit and his parents drop by.  In any case, after he got the axe Rodriguez didn’t need the stuff any more.  I don’t think he’s going to be wearing UM gear any time soon, and he probably doesn’t want to look at any Michigan stuff that would remind him of his grim three-year run as the head coach.  It was generous of him to give the Salvation Army got the benefit of his housecleaning efforts.