Attention: Sports Lobotomy Needed!

Well, another Sunday, another loss for the Cleveland Browns.  The Browns never charge out of the gate to start the season, they just slowly deflate their diehard fans by finding a way to lose every stinking game.  They’re now 0-3, and the season is effectively over.

The sad sack Browns can never quite make the big play.  They don’t know how to win.  Today’s game is a good example.  The Browns look like crap to begin the game as the Bills roll to a 14-0 lead.  The Browns fight back and get the ball in the second half with a chance to take the lead, and they produce . . . nothing.  Buffalo gets the ball and takes it in for a score, and the Browns’ rookie quarterback throws two picks to end the game on an even more sour note.

I’m sure Pat Shurmur is a nice man, but what signs have we seen that he can be a successful NFL coach?  The Browns are loaded with rookies and young players and are outmatched, from a talent standpoint, against virtually every opponent.  How about trying a trick play, or going for it on fourth down, or doing something, anything, to show your team and your fans that you are trying to win games?  Instead, Patient Pat just stands on the sidelines, with a quizzical, resigned look on his face, as the Browns throw a three-yard pass when six yards is needed, don’t get the crucial first down, and then go down to another frustrating, painful defeat.

The Browns have the scent of death about them.  The gnawing feeling of permanent futility is more than any sports fan should be asked to bear — and yet I am called back to the TV set, weekend after weekend, to absorb another defeat and another lost season.  Is there a doctor somewhere who can perform a very targeted lobotomy directed at the sports fan lobes of the brain?

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