At dinner tonight, a friend mentioned that a world-wide bacon shortage is in the offing. An unfortunate and tasteless jest, I thought — but it turns out to be true.
That’s right: the British National Pig Association is forecasting a world-wide shortage of pork and bacon next year. They attribute the lack of porcine product and the declining numbers of swine to the increased cost of maize and soya and the other foodstuffs that allow cute little piglets to grow up to be huge, beautiful, bacon-larded hogs.
Horrors! We’ve put up with a lot in this country: high unemployment, a crappy economy, even Emmy Awards being presented to shows that no one has ever heard of. But . . . a bacon shortage??? Isn’t that asking a lot of mainstream America? How are we going to have state and country fairs without bacon to contribute to deep-fried bacon, chocolate-covered bacon, and bacon ice cream? What are we supposed to eat for breakfast? What other foodstuff tastes as succulent wrapped around a scallop, served with scrambled eggs, or covered with brown sugar?
Forget about investing in gold, silver, or other precious metals — it’s time for the savvy investor to go long, long, long in pork bellies. America runs on bacon!
Webner House 