Tax Torn

Well, it’s Tax Day — April 15, the due date for most federal and state income tax filings.  The butt of jokes by comedians for decades.  The annual source of angst for millions of American taxpayers.  A rallying cry for conservative anti-taxers ever since the Sixteenth Amendment was ratified in 1913 and allowed the federal income tax in the first place.

My feelings about Tax Day are decidedly ambivalent.  I recognize that taxes are the price we pay for living in a free society, and I pay them willingly.  A modern military with modern weaponry, a welfare state system that tries to help the poor and elderly, and a government that shoulders far-reaching tasks like disease control or preventing alien species from invading the Great Lakes can’t be funded by the system of duties and tariffs that supported a much more limited government during the colonial era.  I also think it’s ridiculous for people like Ted Cruz to talk about abolishing the Internal Revenue Service.  If you accept that taxes must be paid, as I do, there must be an entity that collects the tax.

At the same time, it’s hard for me to feel warm and fuzzy about our tax system or the IRS.  Last night Kish and I watched the latest Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, and it tried to make viewers feel sorry for the IRS, because IRS jobs are boring, the Internal Revenue Code is constantly being changed by Congress, and IRS funding has been cut.  Good luck with that effort!  The IRS may be necessary, but don’t expect me to give it a hug, okay?  And when I sign my forms and send in my payments, don’t think I’m a nut if I wonder about the presence of unfairness in our tax code and abuse and favoritism in the highly political process by which tax exemptions are determined and tax rates are imposed.

Every year, as I look at the forms and the complicated instructions, I wonder if there isn’t a simpler, fairer way to do it.  Say what you will about the sales tax, but it’s a straightforward percentage that anybody can calculate, and it targets consumption rather than work.  If you want to soak the idle rich, wouldn’t a tax when they buy ridiculously appointed $200,000 SUVs be a good idea?  And user fees that are triggered when a specific federal service is used — say, for use of ports and customs, for airline security, or for drug or vehicle testing to ensure compliance with safety standards — also seems fair.  Couple that with an income tax and withholding system that involves fewer exemptions, exclusions, deductions, tax rate levels, and schedules, and maybe you’ve got a workable system that won’t cause so many Americans to take the IRS’s name in vain come every April 15.

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Car Names

Yesterday I was driving in downtown Columbus, in line behind one of those generic, ubiquitous, slow-moving SUVs. I looked at the colossal rear end of the vehicle and saw that it was called the Buick Enclave.

The Enclave? Now there’s a car name.

The Enclave is both evocative and designed to appeal to a very specific segment of the population. Evocative, because the enormous car actually looked like a big, boxy, rolling chunk of metal capable of sheltering a healthy segment of the population from the ravages of the outside world. Of limited and specific appeal, because no one who buys an Enclave is looking for anything sporty or daring. Nope, they want safety, and comfortable seats, and lots of cupholders where they can store the drinks they’re sipping in happy security as ugly, dangerous reality slides by outside their windows.

Car manufacturers do a pretty good job with names that define the vehicle itself, like the Mustang, or the Challenger, or the Nissan Cube. The Buick Enclave, I think, has to have a place in the Pantheon of great car names. But should it concern us that there apparently is a healthy market of American car buyers who are looking for a rolling enclave?