The Penny Chronicles

My name is Penny.

Kasey and I have a good understanding with The Leader. Kasey and I always want food. The Leader knows that. We go to the Leader and put our heads on her lap. Then she goes and gets food for us, every time. The old boring guy just ignores us and never gives us food until late in the day. That’s one big reason why we like the Leader best.

Kasey and I also think the Leader knows we will always hunt for food, and will leave it just within our reach. One day the Leader left a box of Milk-Bones where I could knock it down. Kasey and I tore it open and ate the whole box. It was a happy Milk-Bone frenzy that day!

When the old boring guy got home, he saw the ripped-up box and got mad. We didn’t care. Why should we care about what the old boring guy does when our bellies are full? The Leader acted mad, too — but we know it was just an act. We think she wants us to eat our fill every once in a while. The Leader always looks out for those of us in the pack.

The Penny Chronicles

My name is Penny.

The old boring guy has been around too much lately. Usually he leaves and Kasey and I have the Leader all too ourselves until it is nighttime. Now, though, the old boring guy is always here. He lies on the couch, grunting and groaning.

1394793257667Kasey and I try to ignore him, but it is hard. He is on our couch! Everyone knows we get to sit there and sleep there, not the old boring guy. It makes us mad. But, the old boring guy also eats there, too, and when he’s lying down he is a messy eater. So, at least we get some scraps out of it.

And then there’s his foot. It’s wrapped in a bandage, and it smells very interesting. It’s got normal foot smells, plus sweat smells, and blood smells, and other smells, too. Kasey and I both think it’s the best the old boring guy has ever smelled! Of course, that’s not saying much.

With so many good smells there, Kasey and I like to walk up and take a big sniff of the foot. For some reason, that make the old boring guy very nervous, and he pushes us away. Ha ha! Stay on your toes, old boring guy! When you least expect it I’m going to jump up for a closer look and smell, and maybe a lick, too.

The Penny Chronicles

My name is Penny.

IMG_5929There is one thing I hate more than any other. It isn’t that stupid cat that comes right up to our front door. It isn’t the mean dog that growls at me when I walk past, either.

It’s this white thing. Boy, I hate this thing. Sometimes the Leader sticks it in my ear, and it squirts. It feels so weird in there! I just hate it, hate it, hate it.

So, I watch to see when the Leader brings out the white thing. Sometimes, when I am trying to get her to feed me early because I am hungry, or when the Leader isn’t paying attention to me and I am jumping up on her, the Leader will get the white thing. When she does, I head in the opposite direction. I’d rather wait to eat than have to feel the white squirty thing in my ear.

Sorry, Leader! You have to get up pretty early to outsmart Penny.

The Penny Chronicles

My name is Penny.

I hate going outside right now. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

IMG_1764Normally I like snow. But this snow is not good snow. It is not light and fluffy and swirly and fun to roll in. It is cold and hard, like a road. When I walk out on it, it breaks and my legs sink through. Then the broken hard snow gets between my toes and hurts them.

It’s hard for me to lift my legs out of the hard snow. And the hard snow comes right up to my bottom, too, when I try to go to the bathroom. How am I supposed to go to the bathroom in this hard snow?

Kasey likes the hard snow. She doesn’t break through. She stays on top of the snow and tries to smell frozen dog poop. When she smells some, she puts her nose into the snow and gobbles it up. The Leader says Kasey likes poopsicles. Ha, Ha!

The Leader is funny, but this hard snow isn’t. I think it stinks worse than Kasey’s poopsicles. Get me back inside!

The Penny Chronicles

My name is Penny.

I don’t understand the old boring guy. He’s always doing things that make no sense.

IMG_1742I know he doesn’t like snow. That’s for sure!

Everyone knows that when it snows you do two things — play in the snow, or stay inside. I like to do both. I like to play in the snow, but when it gets too cold I like to go back inside and sit with the Leader, and wait for her to give us some food. Kasey does, too.

The old boring guy doesn’t do that. When it snows, he goes outside and tries to move the snow around. He throws the snow in the air. Why? I bark at him through the window. That bugs him! But I’m trying to tell him that throwing the snow makes no sense during the winter.

He throws the snow one way, and then the other, then he comes inside. Then it starts snowing again, and he goes outside and does it all over again, day after day. What’s the point? It’s winter! But the old boring guy never learns.

The Penny Chronicles

My name is Penny.

Yesterday I smelled something. It smelled so good that my mouth watered and I had to have it. Whatever it was was way up high. I tried and I tried and I tried, and finally I knocked some of it down and ate it.

IMG_1693It tasted good, but it tasted bad and made my teeth hurt at the same time. That was weird! Still, it felt good for my belly to be full. At night, though, I didn’t feel good and I kept feeling worse. Finally, my stomach said it didn’t want that food anymore. I went over to a corner, and up the food came. It’s happened before, but not very often. I can eat almost anything.

I went to the corner because I hoped that other members of the pack wouldn’t find my mess. They did, though. This morning the old boring guy found it. Ha-ha! If anyone would find it, I hoped it would be him!

With my stomach feeling better and the old boring guy finding my barf, the day was off to a good start.

The Penny Chronicles

My name is Penny.

IMG_1676The Young Master was here. The Wrestler was here, too. But now they are gone.

Kasey and I like it when the Young Master and the Wrestler are here. They play with us and pet us and scratch us behind the ear. And, they leave food where we can get it. Kasey and I roam the house and let our noses be our guides, because there is always something to lick, chew, or gobble when the Young Master and the Wrestler are back as part of the pack. They even give us food from the table. The old boring guy never does that! What is his problem?

So, Kasey and I like it when the Young Master and the Wrestler are around. When they leave we are sad, and a lot hungrier, but it means we have the Leader all to ourselves again. That is a good thing, too.

The Penny Chronicles

My name is Penny.

The Leader called me a Bad Girl and swatted me on the behind a few days ago.  She was right.  The Leader always is.  I was a Bad Girl, but I don’t care.

IMG_1662The old boring guy was making something that smelled so, so good.  Kasey and I smelled it all day.  But the old boring guy wouldn’t give us any!  So we kept smelling and wishing and hoping — but we never got anything.

Then, when everyone went to sleep, I saw my chance.  I smelled the smell, followed my nose, and found a box just where I could reach it.  I used my nose to knock it off the table.  Sure enough, it was filled with very good food!  I ate as much as I could.

The Leader realized my little trick, found me eating the food, and called me a Bad Girl and gave me a swat.  I don’t care.  I would do it again, and again, and again.  Even with the swat, that was one of the best days ever.

The Penny Chronicles

My name is Penny.

When the Leader and the old boring guy are away, there’s not much to do.  I’ll check all the windows to make sure there’s nothing going on.  Then I’ll have a drink from my water bowl.  Then I will check on Kasey, but usually she is sleeping under a pile of blankets.  Kasey can sleep all day, but not me.  I am an action dog!

IMG_5523When I get bored, I will go find Little Man to help me pass the time.  Little Man is mine.  He is small and purple and soft, and he keeps me entertained.  I can bite Little Man, and no one yells at me.  I can shake my head and toss him in the air.  I have tried to pull off his legs and arms, but no luck so far.  That just means I’ll need to keep trying.

Sometimes, when I have had Little Man in my mouth for a while, he will get wet for some reason.  Then, when I put him down for a while, he will get dry.  I don’t know why!  But when he gets dry, he gets crunchy to chew.  That is when I like Little Man best of all.

The Penny Chronicles

My name is Penny.

Kasey and I are about the end of our leash.  The morning walks with the old boring guy have gotten so boring that we can’t take it anymore.  We always walk in the same direction.  We always walk on the same path.  We always see the same dogs.  And, he never lets us stop and smell anything, either.  It makes me wish I could walk in my sleep.

IMG_1597So, Kasey and I have decided to makes things more interesting.  Sometimes, when Kasey is far ahead and I am far behind, I will just stop.  That makes the old boring guy have to stop too.  One time he almost fell down.  Ha ha!  Kasey and I got a good laugh out of that one, even though it made the old boring guy mad.

Other times, when I will stop to answer the call of nature, Kasey will come up and smell my butt.  Why not?  Any dog would do that.  But the old boring guy doesn’t like it and he will yank Kasey away.  When he does that, Kasey walks around his feet until he is totally tangled.  That’s a good one, too!  We keep hoping he will fall down or even step in my poop one of these days.  It hasn’t happened yet, but a dog can dream, can’t she?

Then, because we want to get back to the Leader as soon as we can, we go back to the old boring walk.  The old boring guy didn’t get that name for nothing.

The Penny Chronicles

My name is Penny.

IMG_4939Lately I’ve heard the Leader and the Old Boring Guy talking about fat dogs.  They try not to talk about it when I’m around, but I hear it.  Who could they be talking about?

I think people worry too much about weight.  I don’t!  In my pack, a big appetite was a sign of good health.  That’s why people talk about having a healthy appetite.  That makes me think I am very healthy!

I like to eat.  What dog doesn’t?  I like to sleep.  What dog doesn’t like to do that, either?  I go for walks, and sometimes Kasey and I will run around the house.  I like to sniff, and smell, and bark at cats, and do everything that dogs do.

I don’t care about being the skinniest dog on the block.  I like the smell of food and the taste of food.  It makes my mouth water!  I’d rather eat whenever I get the chance and be happy with a full belly.  Why not?  I am hungry!

The Penny Chronicles

My name is Penny.

IMG_4911Yesterday the Leader let Kasey and me jump into the wagon.  When that happens, we know it will be a good day.  We only go in the wagon to go to play with other dogs, or to go to a room to wait with other dogs and then visit a nice lady.  Either way, we get to spend time with dogs.  What could be better than that?

Yesterday it turned out that we went to visit the nice lady.  Kasey and I like that.  We always get washed and cleaned.  That is a good thing, too, because after a while Kasey could use a good scrub, if you know what I mean.  Ha ha, Kasey!

Our favorite thing of all comes at the end, when the nice lady ties a scarf around our necks.  The scarves are always pretty and bright.  When we get home we know the other dogs in the neighborhood are jealous.  My favorite scarf of all had little dog bones on it.  When I saw Kasey in that scarf, it always made me hungry.

That reminds me — time to go see if the Leader will give me some more food.  Why not?  I am hungry!

The Penny Chronicles

My name is Penny.

This is why I love the Leader.  Yesterday, she brought me a bone.  The Leader understands me.  She knows I love to chew and eat bones.  Who doesn’t?

IMG_4705The Leader knows that bones make me happy, and sleepy.  So, when the Leader brings me a bone, I know she wants me to be happy.  How can you not love someone who always does things to make you happy?  That’s what I think, anyway.

The Leader also feeds me every morning and every night.  The Leader throws a snack to Kasey and me when she leaves, and gives us a hug and a kiss when she comes home.  The Leader smells good, too — unlike the old boring guy.  Sorry about that, old boring guy!  The truth hurts, I guess!

Bones are not the only reason I love the Leader, but they show why I love her.

The Penny Chronicles

My name is Penny.

I get along with most dogs, even if they aren’t in our pack.  But, there are two German Shepherds in our neighborhood that I really don’t like at all.  They are always kept in the garage.  I know why!  They bark and lunge and growl and snarl whenever I walk by, and I don’t think it’s because they are just jealous that I am out walking while they are stuck in the garage.

Everyone knows that German Shepherds are mean, through and through.  It’s because they’re closer to wolves than dogs.  They’re not as civilized and evolved.  Their instinct is always to fight.

Not me!  I’d rather eat my food and sit on a cool floor than be out in the hot sun fighting with two mean German Shepherds.  I’m too smart to do that!

Don’t think I’m afraid of them, though.  I’m not!  I let them know by giving a little growl of my own and a flick of the tail when we walk by.  It drives them crazy.

Ha, ha, Shepherds!  Take that and bark on it!

The Penny Chronicles

My name is Penny.

IMG_4005Sometimes the Leader and the old boring guy go away.  When that happens, we go to a place with dogs from other packs.  There are lots of those dogs.  I mean, lots!  There’s Beowulf, and Lars.  There’s Rosita, and Foo-Foo.  I don’t even know all of their names.  Some of the dogs like to bark.  Some like to dig.  Some want to play, and some are mad and scary.

Kasey and I sleep in the same crate.  When we go out into the yard with dogs from other packs, we try to be careful, too.  We watch each other’s back.  You never know what might happen, but Kasey and I make a good team.  We both want to be sure that we get back to our pack.

We run in the yard.  We eat when they feed us.  At night, we try to sleep, but some other dogs will bark and bark.  Kasey snores, too.  I don’t get much sleep.

When the Leader finally comes to get us, we are happy.  When we get home, we feel warm and safe.  So, we go to sleep.  The Leader wonders why we are so tired.  If she only knew!