‘Twas The Day After Christmas

It’s the day after Christmas — which for some beleaguered people in the package delivery business is probably about as important as Christmas itself.  This year online retailing once again set a record, which means the package delivery guys have been busting their behinds for weeks and probably are still hustling to deal with the last-minute orders.  As I reflected on the plight of these uniformed soldiers of the modern economy, the poetic muse once more took hold:

The Day After Christmas

‘Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the land

Fed Ex and UPS remained fully manned

They’ve set a record for deliveries this year

But the last-minute orders have yet to appear

Oh, Amazon!  Oh, Apple!  Oh, Pajamagram!

Your specials and discounts created a jam

The packages and boxes were stacked to the ceiling

The onslaught of orders left deliverers reeling

And because so many waited ’til the last minute

The Christmas Crush?  They’re still in it!

The delivery guys are trying their best

But it’ll take time before they can give it a rest

So if your order hasn’t yet come to your door

Don’t take it out on the delivery corps!

And by the way, I’ll be doing whatever is necessary to avoid going within a one-mile radius of any shopping mall today.

The RH Catalogs Hit Our Doorstep

Today the Restoration Hardware catalogs hit our doorstep.  Literally.  And the sheer weight of the delivery threatened to reduce our brick entranceway to a pulverized powder.

IMG_6183Has anybody else received this plastic-wrapped beast?  It’s a collection of multiple catalogs, three inches thick, bearing titles like “Interiors,” “Small Spaces,” “Upholstery,” “Bath,” “Lighting,” and “Leather.”  (Leather?  Hmmm.  Does Restoration Hardware have some kind of special audience that extends beyond the home decoration area?)

In total, this collection has got to weigh about as much as an adult bowling ball.  I tried to weigh it on our bathroom scale, but I threw my back out trying to lug it up the stairs.

The RH package was delivered by UPS Ground.  Interestingly, the shipping label says “Attention UPS Driver:  Shipper Release UPS Carbon Neutral Shipment.”  A review of the UPS website indicates that UPS offers “carbon neutral shipments” for environmentally conscious companies.  According to the page linked above, “UPS purchases certified carbon (CO2) offsets to give you a way to balance out the emissions produced by the transportation of your shipments.”  Wouldn’t it be interesting to know how much Restoration Hardware paid to balance out the emissions produced by UPS trucks delivering this behemoth — not to mention how many trees were felled so that the latest “Leather” options could be made known to snug suburban households?