It’s the day after Christmas — which for some beleaguered people in the package delivery business is probably about as important as Christmas itself. This year online retailing once again set a record, which means the package delivery guys have been busting their behinds for weeks and probably are still hustling to deal with the last-minute orders. As I reflected on the plight of these uniformed soldiers of the modern economy, the poetic muse once more took hold:
The Day After Christmas
‘Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the land
Fed Ex and UPS remained fully manned
They’ve set a record for deliveries this year
But the last-minute orders have yet to appear
Oh, Amazon! Oh, Apple! Oh, Pajamagram!
Your specials and discounts created a jam
The packages and boxes were stacked to the ceiling
The onslaught of orders left deliverers reeling
And because so many waited ’til the last minute
The Christmas Crush? They’re still in it!
The delivery guys are trying their best
But it’ll take time before they can give it a rest
So if your order hasn’t yet come to your door
Don’t take it out on the delivery corps!
And by the way, I’ll be doing whatever is necessary to avoid going within a one-mile radius of any shopping mall today.