It is November 1. Today many Americans will shake their heads sadly and say to a loved one, co-worker, or friend: “Wow, can you believe it’s November already? This year really has flown.”
If you find yourself making such a scintillating observation, you need to face facts — you’re obviously getting up there. There is no surer sign of aging than remarking ruefully on the rapid passage of time. AARP enrollment scouts that have infiltrated the general population listen for such comments and immediately arrange for membership mailings to be sent to the speaker. Salesmen of retirement planning products target such people for detailed sales presentations on the merit of annuities. You may as well make permanent reservations at the “early bird” sitting at the nearest inexpensive cafeteria that gives the Golden Buckeye card discount, lay in a lifetime supply of bluing rinse, and hitch your trousers up to nipple height.
In case you’ve forgotten, young people never say such things. If they even notice that another month has gone by, it’s probably because it means that Christmas is another month nearer and, perhaps, it’s time to start behaving so they have a reasonable chance of being rewarded by Santa Claus. Or, they are excited about Thanksgiving and seeing whether they can eat even more turkey and mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie than they did last year. Or, they’re in high school or college and are looking forward to that long winter break when they can sleep in even later, get together with their friends, and worry their parents when they don’t come home until 2 a.m.
So, if you’re tempted today to express sad surprise that November is here, do yourself a favor and refrain. You’re only demonstrating that, mentally at least, you’re far along on the road to geezerdom.