Retirement Fund Haiku

The stock market — and the 401(k) plans of millions of Americans — really took a beating today.  Anytime the market plummets more than 500 points and loses almost five percent of its value in a single day, it is just not a good day.

Why did the market drop like a drunken sailor after his last mug of grog?  Who knows?  The zig zags of the market are beyond the ken of mortal investors.  Perhaps the Wall Street wizards have come to recognize what most of us have realized for a long time — the economy sucks wind like an overweight sprinter, and its not getting whipped into shape by the expensive “cures” emanating from Washington, D.C.

There’s not much we can do about it, except compose another bit of stock market haiku to commemorate our vanishing paper profits:

Economy blows

Retirement just a dream

And summer’s too hot

Canadian Goose Haiku

At the Ohioana awards luncheon on Saturday I was fortunate to share a table with Michael J. Rosen, who won an award for his terrific book The Cuckoo’s Haiku.  My good friend Michelle, who also sat at our table, confided that the book had inspired her and her husband to write some bird-related haiku.

I thought I would try my hand at some bird-related haiku — but what bird?  When I walked around the golf course today, the answer quickly became apparent, because on one hole the tee featured the signature calling card of the Canadian goose, Branta canadensis. It is a noble looking bird, but it must be the messiest, loudest, most obnoxious bird found anywhere in the world.  What better subject for a haiku?

Your loud, braying honk

overwhelms the silent dawn

droppings coat the ground

Stock Market Haiku

Ode To A Twinkie

Stock Market Haiku

Let’s face it — it is just depressing to see what is happening with the stock market every day. Rather than obsess about it, it is better to just accept it and deal with it. I’ve decided that writing a haiku would be therapeutic:

401(k) down

Retirement far away

Pay no attention