Don’t Come To Work Tomorrow. You Are “Non-Essential”

As a result of the possible (probable?) government shutdown, I learned this morning that the various agencies, including the military, are reviewing their work force to determine who will be furloughed and who will continue to work.  “Essential” workers will continue to work and “non-essential” workers will be furloughed.  What?  Non-essential employees?  How do you say “bloated government?”  Why do agencies have non-essential workers?  Who are these people and what does it do to their self esteem to be told “you don’t need to come to work tomorrow.  You are “non-essential”?  (What jobs do they have?  Non-essential in charge of filing staple guns?)  Imagine approaching your company CEO, your firm’s managing partner or the owner of the small business where you work and asking for approval to hire a non-essential employee for your department or office.  You explain the person is not necessary to the performance of the operations of the company or department and the non-essential will be provided with benefits and a salary in the tens of thousands of dollars.  Will you be rewarded for your clear thinking and societal concerns for the unemployed, or will you be asked to join the ranks of the non-essentials?

If  the government had to get along with only essential employees, how much lower might the cost of government be?  If we weren’t paying non-essential workers, what would the unemployment figures be?  Which is worse, higher unemployment or higher governmental costs?  ( I know, we have to pay unemployment benefits to the unemployed non-essential worker, etc. and we have their self esteem to worry about.  But, is an unemployment check harder on self esteem than working in a non-essential job?)  If a non-essential were not hired by the government would he or she figure out how to become an employed essential in the private sector?  Would lower taxes be derived from not paying non-essential persons?  Would tax savings result in more consumer spending, which would create more essential jobs in the private sector?  Would some of the out of work non-essentials use their ingenuity and innovate new products and services creating more essential jobs?  These Econ 101 arguments simplify the continual debate among economists.  But, not unlike the argument against deficit spending which says that the government should balance its budget and quit (at least reduce) deficit spending as we have to do in our homes and private businesses, sometimes simplified versions of the economic dilemma makes good common sense.

Maybe, like sequestering turned out to be not such a terrible thing, shutting down the government for awhile may not be so terrible either.  After all, the essential jobs will continue to be performed and, apparently, only the non-essential frills will be postponed.

A Fan Of Francona

On Wednesday, the Cleveland Indians play in the wild card playoff game. Before that happens, I want to throw a few kudos at Tribe manager Terry Francona.

I’ve been tremendously impressed by Francona this year, and not just because he managed the team to the post-season.  When you hear him interviewed he gives thoughtful answers, rather than the mindless twaddle that tends to come from the mouths of every other coach in professional sports.  He’s amazingly humble and quick to give credit to others, both players and team management.  He never seems to rip his players, or get too excited or too depressed about the team’s last game or series.  He’s got just about the perfect temperament for a high-profile job that requires a unique basket of skills.

I can’t speak to Francona’s managing abilities from a technical standpoint.  I don’t know whether he pinch-hits at the optimum times, or calls for the hit-and-run when it’s warranted, or positions his fielders properly — although the Indians’ unexpected success this season suggests to me that Francona has a pretty good head for inside baseball.  What impresses me more is his interpersonal skills.  He seems to be an uncommonly shrewd judge of people, and particularly how to motivate them and raise their spirits.  He has taken a bunch of players that no one else wanted and welded them into a unit that improbably won 92 games, including its last 10 games of the year.  He stuck with players like Jason Giambi when fans were calling for their heads — and they ultimately delivered.  He and his coaching staff have made a pitching staff of cast-offs and retreads into an extremely strong unit that really carried the team to the playoffs.

Too often in professional sports, coaches and managers are judged on their last game, and if their team loses the season is viewed as a failure.  That’s not fair, and I hope that doesn’t happen to Francona.  He has done a fantastic job in the manager’s seat this year, and I hope every Tribe fans recognizes that — no matter what happens in the playoffs — Cleveland is lucky to have him.

In The Grip Of Shutdown Sameness

It’s been about six months since our last government crisis, so I guess we’re due.

This latest crisis arises — surprise! — from the inability of the Republicans and the Democrats, of the House of Representatives on one hand and the Senate and the President on the other, to agree on a short-term funding bill to keep the government operating.  If the parties do not come up with a way forward by midnight tonight, there will be a partial governmental shutdown.

Of course, the inability to agree on a continuing resolution is only the immediate cause of this latest “crisis.”  The issues cut much deeper.  From spending, to taxes, to the Affordable Care Act, to a host of other issues, our two political parties have fundamental differences of opinion about what government should do and its role in our everyday lives.

I’m not going to write today, however, about those policy differences.  It’s all been written before, by countless people, and there really isn’t anything fresh or compelling to be said.  I would simply point out to our political leaders that, when you constantly lurch from one “crisis” to another, the state of “crisis” eventually becomes the norm.  We’ve gone through the brinksmanship and the dire warnings again and again, and we’re still here.  Sequestration took effect . . . and the sun rose the next day.  After a while, the constant cries of wolf fall on deaf ears.

If this latest “crisis” provokes a partial government shutdown, how many Americans will even care?  They’ll find refuge in the final episodes of Breaking Bad, or the baseball playoffs, or something else of more immediate interest and impact on their lives.  Sadly, our political leaders may actually have let the country drift to the point where most people don’t even give a crap that our government is totally dysfunctional.

Welcome, Brownie!

Today the Cleveland Browns introduced a new, live-action mascot.  He is “Brownie, the Elf.”

A little elf has been a part of the Browns for as long as I can remember.  He’s usually pictured holding a football, wearing elfin shoes and an elfin hat and a self-satisfied smile on his face.  I’ve always like the little pointy-eared elf.  For a time, years ago, there was an effort to put the elf on the Browns helmets, but they decided to stick with the classic, plain orange helmets instead.

When the Browns came back into the NFL, and marketing requirements dictated that they have a mascot, they surprisingly did not go with the elf.  Instead, picking up on the “Dawgs” persona first developed during the ’80s, they introduced a large, upright dog wearing a uniform.  His name is “Chomps.”  I think Chomps sucks.  He’s a generic, fuzzy mascot that could be the mascot for virtually any major or minor league team.

So, I was happy when I saw “Brownie, the Elf” today.  And, not coincidentally, the Browns actually played like a football team today.  It was a pleasure to sit in a cheering stadium and watch the Browns grind down the Cincinnati Bengals on a 90-yard drive in the fourth quarter to put the game away.  It’s one of the best games the Browns have played against a quality opponent in years.  Even the presence of Chomps didn’t ruin the day.

I’m giving the credit for today’s win to the team, of course, but also to Brownie, the Elf.  The more the Browns get back to their roots, the better off they will be.

Big Fly

Autumn is flu shot season, and football season, and allergy season.  It is also — regrettably — big fly season.

We try to keep our doors shut during the summer months.  But somehow, some way, crafty houseflies get inside.  And then, usually, we don’t see them for a while.  They flit around at night, doing whatever vile things flies do.  They also must consume some kind of special housefly growth tonic, because by the time fall comes you’re being dive-bombed by houseflies the size of golf balls that buzz like chainsaws.  You hear the distinctive buzz and out of the corner of your eye you see that large, hairy black object flying straight at you and you duck and swat at the repulsive creatures.

Why does autumn seem to infuse flies with such recklessness?  Are they simply feeling indestructible because they have grown to brobdingnagian proportions.  Or, as I suspect, do they realize that the end is near, and they might as well take one shot at annoying the humans they’ve been avoiding for weeks?  When you’re huge, why not live large?

Because we all know how the story ends — with gigantic, granddaddy flies dead as doornails, curled up on the floor or on the windowsill above the kitchen sink, to be retrieved with a tissue and a feeling of utter disgust and tossed in the trash or the toilet.  It’s a meek ending for a big fly.

Night Game

Ohio State head football coach Urban Meyer is a big fan of playing football at night, under the lights.  It’s not hard to understand why.

When the sun goes down and the lights come on, the atmosphere becomes more charged.  The fans — fueled, in many instances, by ample alcohol consumption at tailgates — are seriously into the game and ready to scream.  Playing at night just seems cooler.  When you add in a flyover and fireworks launched from the top of the south scoreboard, as Ohio State did in its game against Wisconsin last night, you create an atmosphere that is designed to appeal to kids, and particularly the recruits who are trying to decide where to take their athletic talents.

Last night was a great atmosphere, and the Buckeyes won over a good Wisconsin team, 31-24.  As Buckeyes fans left the Horseshoe after 11 p.m., they could be happy with the result — but also confident that they would be seeing Wisconsin’s Jared Abbrederis, who created his own fireworks with 10 catches and more than 200 yards gained, in their fevered dreams.  Thank God that kid is a senior!

 

Sy Hersh Speaks Out

Seymour Hersh won a Pulitzer Prize for his reporting on the My Lai massacre in the Vietnam War.  Ever since, he’s been the scourge of presidents and press officers, not afraid to speak his mind about America, journalists, and politicians.  He’s an equal opportunity gadfly who launches withering criticism at Republican and Democrat alike.

Recently Hersh put reporters and the Obama Administration in his gun sights.  According to a report in the Guardian newspaper, Hersh ripped American journalists, chiding them for their timidity, their refusal to challenge the story lines put out by the Obama Administration, and their willingness to temper their reporting to support the President.  He said that the Obama Administration story about the raid that killed Osama bin Laden is “one big lie, not one word of it is true,” and argued that journalists aren’t investigating the shifting depictions of the event as they should.  He called reporters “pathetic” and “more than obsequious” for their unwillingness to challenge the President, and he claims the Obama Administration “lies systematically.”  He singled out the New York Times and said the newspaper spends “so much more time carrying water for Obama than I ever thought they would.”

Hersh — like me — is a big believer in real journalism and reporters who ferret out the truth and let the chips fall where they may.  He thinks, however, that the existing managers of newspapers and network news bureaus will never return to the days of “shoe leather” reporting, where reporters find sources and stories rather than waiting in briefing rooms for press officers to give them handouts.  Hersh recommends firing 90 percent of newspaper editors and promoting new editors who can’t be controlled, closing network news bureaus, and starting over.

It’s interesting to hear a journalistic icon like Seymour Hersh speak out about the state of American reporting.  Newspapers are worried about why their circulation is falling, falling, falling.  Maybe if they stopped “carrying water” for politicians and started really reporting on what is actually happening, readers would return.

Starting To Turn

It’s been a very cool end of summer in New Albany, and now that autumn has officially arrived the leaves are starting to turn a bit earlier than normal.  It’s sad to see summer leave with a chilly morning whimper, but the first hints of rusty fall colors make me feel a bit better about the change of seasons.

Closing Time

We’re down to the last three games of the regular season, the Tribe is fighting for a spot in the wildcard playoff game — and suddenly the team finds that it is without a closer.

A closer is a crucial component of any successful modern professional baseball team.  Every team craves an unflappable Mariano Rivera-type who comes in to the ninth inning with a one-run lead and the game on the line and coolly slams the door on any possible comeback.  Of course, there is only one Mariano Rivera.  All other closers wax and wane.  They may look unhittable for a while, but then they will blow up, fritter away leads, and cause fans to tear their hair out.

The Indians’ closer, Chris Perez, has been like that this season, but even more so.  He’s had a number of bad outings recently, and last night he came in when the Tribe was up by 5 runs in the ninth and got bombed, leaving it for another reliever to get the last out in what became a nail-biting 6-5 win.  After the game, Perez apparently talked to Indians manager Terry Francona and said he didn’t want to cost the team games while he struggled with his pitching.

So now Francona — who has done a fantastic job managing the Tribe this year — has to make an impossible decision with the playoffs on the line.  What does he do with a closer who can’t close any more, and apparently has lost the confidence that every successful closer must have?  And who do you replace him with?  Justin Masterson, a fine starter who is recovering from an injury?  Joe Smith, the reliable eighth-inning set-up man?  Closing major league ballgames requires a special type of person, and trying to find a new closer through trial and error when every game is crucial is asking the impossible.  If Terry Francona can figure this out, he’s more than just a great manager — he’s a genius.

95 Percent Confidence

The Fifth Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change report states that it is 95 percent certain that humans are the main cause of global warming.

The 95 percent confidence level reported in the IPCC document is surprising, because it is extraordinarily high.  Climate scientists asked about the confidence level say that they are about as certain that global warming is a man-made condition as they are that smoking cigarettes causes cancer, and more sure about the human cause of global warming than they are that vitamins are good for you or that dioxin is dangerous.  In fact, the climate scientists say that one of the few things that they consider to be more certain than human-caused climate change is the existence of gravity.  One scientist is quoted as saying that climate change “is not as sure as if you drop a stone it will hit the Earth,” and adds that “It’s not certain, but it’s close.”

There remains, however, a huge discrepancy between the scientific view of global warming and skepticism on the part of significant portions of the American public about the concept.  A recent poll showed that less than half of Americans believe that climate change is real and caused by humans — and that number seems to be declining, even as scientific certainty apparently is increasing.

Why is this so?  Some people suspect that there are just a lot of scientifically illiterate Americans out there.  I think that may be part of the answer, but there may be other motivating factors.  I think some Americans, at least, have grown increasingly suspicious of academics generally and believe that science has become increasingly politicized.  Still others argue that weather systems are extraordinarily complex, that the Earth’s climate has changed countless times over the course of planetary history, and that it takes enormous hubris for scientists to believe they can determine what influences the Earth’s climate.

It will be interesting to see whether the latest IPCC report moves public opinion one way or the other.  One thing is clear:  if politicians want to take expensive or disruptive action on the ground that climate change is an impending disaster, they had better figure out how to first convince the American people that the problem truly exists.

 

When Wisconsin Comes To Town

Tomorrow night the Wisconsin Badgers come to town for a night game at Ohio Stadium.  Technically, Ohio State has played four games already, but I think their season really starts tomorrow.

Wisconsin is a perennial power that has been the Big Ten’s representative in the Rose Bowl for the last three seasons.  Last year, the Buckeyes and the Badgers played a bruising game up in Madison that Ohio State won in overtime, 21-14.  It was a defensive struggle in which Wisconsin throttled Ohio State’s high-powered offense and held it to only 236 yards.  That game was a good representation of what Wisconsin always seems to bring to the table.  On offense, the Badgers are known for handing the ball to a gaggle a fine running backs who pound you behind a huge, corn-fed offensive line and mixing that diet of hard-nosed running in with an occasional pass.  On defense, the Badgers will pressure and hit and try to rattle their opponents, physically and mentally.

Wisconsin’s performance this year suggests that tomorrow’s game may be different — or maybe not.  The Badgers’ quarterback, sophomore Joel Stave, has thrown for six touchdowns, including three to fine receiver Jared Abbrederis.  But in last week’s Big Ten opener against Purdue, Wisconsin ran for a mind-boggling 388 yards on their way to pulverizing the Boilermakers, 41-10.  Ohio State’s defense has played against spread offense, quick-throw teams so far this year.  Tomorrow night, they had better be ready for  up-the-gut football with an opponent that would like nothing better than to derail the Buckeyes’ national championship aspirations.

When the Buckeyes are on offense, the big issue will be how quarterback Braxton Miller plays.  After missing two full games and most of a third with an injury — and watching back-up Kenny Guiton break a number of Ohio State offensive records on the way — Miller will be trying to reestablish himself as the premier quarterback and offensive weapon in the Big Ten.  He’ll also be looking to use every arsenal in the multi-faceted Ohio State attack.  With power runner Carlos Hyde back in the backfield after a three-game suspension, along with fellow running backs Jordan Hall and freshman Dontre Wilson and Ezekiel Elliott, Miller has plenty of options in the ground game, and Guiton has shown that Devin Smith, Corey Brown, Chris Fields, and Evan Spencer can catch and run for quick scores.

Tomorrow night’s game will answer a lot of questions about this Buckeye team.  Can their defense handle a team that plays the prototypical Big Ten power game?  How does the Buckeyes offensive speed match up against a big-time opponent that will tackle hard and do whatever it can to force turnovers.  We’ll see tomorrow night, and I’ll be there are the Horseshoe to see it.  I can’t wait!

The Penny Chronicles

My name is Penny.

Lately I’ve heard the Leader and the Old Boring Guy talking about fat dogs.  They try not to talk about it when I’m around, but I hear it.  Who could they be talking about?

I think people worry too much about weight.  I don’t!  In my pack, a big appetite was a sign of good health.  That’s why people talk about having a healthy appetite.  That makes me think I am very healthy!

I like to eat.  What dog doesn’t?  I like to sleep.  What dog doesn’t like to do that, either?  I go for walks, and sometimes Kasey and I will run around the house.  I like to sniff, and smell, and bark at cats, and do everything that dogs do.

I don’t care about being the skinniest dog on the block.  I like the smell of food and the taste of food.  It makes my mouth water!  I’d rather eat whenever I get the chance and be happy with a full belly.  Why not?  I am hungry!

Socks Acting Out

Socks are the the most roundly ignored article of western clothing.

Unless you wear socks with shorts — which itself makes a significant statement about the kind of person you are — socks are hidden by your trousers.  Very few people buy socks based on their colors, or designs, or fabrics.  Even fewer people try to match their sock selection with the rest of their workday wardrobe.  I usually pick out socks at random in a pitch-dark room in the morning because it is irrelevant whether my socks are blue, black or gray, plain or with a line down the side or an argyle pattern.  No one will see them, so what difference does it make?

I think socks realize that no one pays attention to them or, frankly, cares about them.  Most socks accept this fate and move forward with their humble existence and, when selection day comes, seek to find pride and fulfillment in performing their intended function of keeping human feet warm and dry and unchafed in a shoe.  Other socks come to despair and can’t stand to continue with their sock-drawer lives and seize the first opportunity for freedom that presents itself, abandoning their mates and finding fulfillment in a life of solitary contemplation behind a clothes dryer or under a bed.

Still other socks rebel in a different way.  They reject the very essence of sockdom.  It galls them that no one gives them a second thought.  They crave attention and can’t abide being ignored.  They know that there are only two ways that an average sock can break out of the pack — by developing a hole in the toe or by losing all upper sock elasticity.  Socks that eventually, after years of service, develop a hole in the heel have done their duty, but socks that quickly develop a hole in the toe are just acting out.  Droopy socks, on the other hand, know that, over the course of the day, they will fall below ankle level and bunch around your heel again and again, requiring constant adjustment and attention.  Each upward tug just further feeds their neediness and addiction to getting more and more attention.

In some ways, socks are like people.

The Flu Shot Factor

Today at lunch the Bus Riding Conservative announced that he had received his flu shot.  It made me realize I’ve never had one.

Even during the years when you hear the direst predictions about virulent flu strains sweeping the nation and knocking people down for weeks, I refrain from getting a flu shot.  I’m not sure why, exactly.  I’m not afraid of needles, nor am I one of those people who is opposed to immunization on the basis of some obscure religious belief or sense of social consciousness.  I’ve received all my vaccinations and am happy to obtain booster shots when the doctor instructs.

They didn’t have flu shots when I was a kid, so I never got used to having them.  And when I first heard about them as an adult, there always seemed to be issues about shortages.  The news stories would say that the flu shots really should be reserved for young kids and seniors, and I was neither.  I figured I would leave the shots for the people who really needed them, and that mindset still lurks — even though I’ve moved a lot closer to the senior citizens category over the years.

I’ve never really had a problem with the flu, so I don’t have any awful experience that would motivate me to change my approach.  (This probably means, of course, that this year will be the year.)  And there are studies that raise questions about the effectiveness of flu shots from year to year.  If there’s a chance that a flu shot is just going to make me feel bad, and isn’t going to provide much assurance that I’m not going to get the flu anyway, why worry about it?

So this year, I’ll leave the flu shots to the seniors, the kids, and the BRC.  We’ll see if I make it through flu season flu-free.

Green Eggs And Obamacare

Yesterday Texas Senator Ted Cruz, a Republican, took to the Senate floor for an extended period in his effort to avoid funding for the Affordable Care Act, also known as Obamacare.  In a filibuster-type move, Cruz read Dr. Seuss’ classic Green Eggs and Ham into the Congressional Record.

We all remember Green Eggs and Ham.  It featured some poor, benighted soul who claimed to hate green eggs and ham being badgered relentlessly by Sam I Am until he finally tried the dish . . . and found to his surprise that he liked it.  Of course, that part of the story doesn’t fit into the Republican story line.  They would end the story, instead, by saying that the country has tried Obamacare as various provisions have rolled out over the past few years and has decided — Uncle Sam I Am’s hectoring notwithstanding — that they really don’t want the Affordable Care Act.

In any case, it’s easy to see the diehard Republican opposition to Obamacare stated in the cadence of Green Eggs and Ham:

We do not like it on a stair.

We do not like it in the air.

We do not like Obamacare.

We do not like it anywhere!