Residents of central Ohio were relieved today when the mysterious flaming ball that appeared in the skies yesterday vanished. In its place is familiar, comforting gray skies, dull clouds, and rain.
The blazing brightness that the strange golden orb brought with it was too odd and unsettling. It gave rise to strange urges to remove shoes and walk barefoot in the grass, to dance a little jig on the lawn, to show some bare skin to the world, to smile at the brilliance, and to engage in other forms of unseemly conduct.
No, far better to listen to the patter of the rain against the windowpane, to gaze at a landscape that has been washed clean of vivid color, and to return to the grim perseverance that characterizes the stolid residents of central Ohio. Far better to remove the source of those curious impulses that we might not have been able to resist for long. One day, perhaps, that shining source of light and heat in the firmament may return to tempt us . . . but not today.