Hoping For The Right Rub-Off Effect

On August 7 the Cleveland Browns will hold the Orange and Brown scrimmage at one of the most hallowed sites in football:  Ohio Stadium.

It’s hard to imagine teams with more different trajectories than the Buckeyes and the Browns.  Last year the Buckeyes won the first college football playoff, in dominating fashion, and collected another national championship trophy.  With high-intensity coach Urban Meyer at the helm, the Buckeyes have rampaged through the Big Ten, thrown the SEC monkey off their backs, and recruited a roster of incredibly gifted athletes.  And with much of last year’s great team returning and more talented players being added, the future looks bright, too.

The Browns are, well, the Browns.  They’ve stunk up the joint for years and become a punch line in the pro football world.  They’ve never made it to the Super Bowl, which is incredibly embarrassing.  Their long-suffering fans expect terrible things to happen — and, unfortunately, all too often they do.

Why are the Buckeyes successful when the Browns are terrible?  Both teams have a great history and tradition, but tradition doesn’t win football games.  You need smart, capable, motivated people at the top who can find the talent, develop the right game plans, and then provide solid leadership and good decision-making at crunch time.  The Buckeyes have all of this, and the Browns don’t.

Maybe by holding a scrimmage at Ohio Stadium the Browns front office and coaching staff can spend some time with Coach Meyer and his staff and learn something.  Those of us who are fans of both the Browns and the Buckeyes can only hope that some of Ohio State’s formula for success might rub off on the snake-bitten team from Cleveland.

Of course, the Browns being the Browns, we probably need to worry that some of the Browns’ record of failure and disaster might rub off on the Buckeyes.

Cookies For Crohn’s

My sister, Cath, is a very determined and persuasive person.  So when she asked me to bake some cookies for the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation fundraiser being hosted by my nephew tonight at JT’s Pizza, I bowed to the inevitable.

If you’re in the Columbus area at 5:30 tonight and close to JT’s Pizza at 2390 Dublin-Granville Road, stop by!  It’s a good cause.

A Well-Made Cocktail (II)

Last night Kish and I stopped for a drink at Curio, the excellent German Village cocktail lounge connected to Harvest Pizzeria.  Curio is a cozy joint with an interesting decor, a handful of private booths, and an extensive and interesting menu of concoctions, with servers and bartenders interested in providing a high-end cocktail lounge experience.

We decided to try something new, and after perusing the options we asked the server for a recommendation.  She suggested a Floradora — which is actually an old cocktail dating from the early 1900s that has fallen out of favor, but one that is new to us.  Happily, it’s also one of the drinks that are available for a reduced price during Happy hour.

Boy, did she steer us in the right direction!  Made with Old Tom gin, homemade raspberry juice, and some other ingredients, and topped with a fresh raspberry and a skewered piece of sugared ginger, the Curio version of the Floradora is a fantastic summer drink — light, fizzy, and flavorful.  How did it ever fall out of favor as a popular cocktail option?

“Hi Urine”

Our firm uses a “voice mail preview” feature by which a computer program is supposed to interpret voice mail messages left on our phones and give us a transcription of sorts.  The idea is that busy people who are routinely checking their emails can simply read the textual “preview,” figure out what the message is and who called, and then immediately act on it without having to access voice mail itself and listen to a stumbling message that might drone on for a minute or more.

It’s a good concept, but the voice translation process is — how shall we say — imperfect.

Yesterday another attorney at the firm and I were trying to reach each other, but we had one of those days where we each just happened to be out of the office when the other called.  After going back and forth several times, I think she left a message that people commonly leave when they are mired in a frustrating and interminable game of phone tag:  “Tag, you’re it.”  At least, I’m guessing that was the real message — I didn’t actually listen to it after I got the “voice mail preview.”

That’s because the “voice mail preview” interpreted the message as “Hi urine.”

I’m hoping that the “voice mail preview” feature doesn’t an algorithm or program to determine whether the purported transcription satisfies some reasonable plausibility standard.  I’d hate to that that any such program concluded that it was deemed possible that one of my fellow attorneys at the firm would hold me in such low esteem that she would refer to me as liquid bodily waste.

Tat Trouble

In case you’re looking for another reason to not get a tattoo, let me be of assistance — medical researchers are finding that a measurable portion of people who get inked report skin reactions which can last for months, or longer.

A recent study published in the thrillingly named journal Contact Dermatitis interviewed 300 New Yorkers with tats in the area around Central Park in June 2013.  (Wouldn’t you love to know, by the way, whether it took more than 15 minutes to find 300 inked people around Central Park, and how many of the people approached told the researchers to stick it?)  Ten percent of respondents reported having problems with their body art, ranging from rashes to itching, swelling, infections, delaying healing, and skin bumps, with six percent saying the problems continued for more than four months.  Some of the reactions appear to be responses caused by the body’s immune system.

The study also indicates that conditions seem to be related to the color of the ink used, with skin problems reported for red ink at levels disproportionate to the commonness of red ink tattoos. Researchers don’t yet know whether the reactions are due to the ink itself, or to brighteners or preservatives used with the ink — but then, tattoo-related conditions haven’t exactly been a hot topic in the medical research field.  That’s unfortunate because, as Dr. Marie Leger, spokesperson for the study, said, “The skin is a highly immune-sensitive organ, and the long-term consequences of repeatedly testing the body’s immune system with injected dyes and colored inks are poorly understood.”  No kidding!

If you’ve ever had poison ivy or a bad rash, you know that there are few things more maddening than persistently itchy skin.  I can’t imagine dealing with it for months, or even years.  With tattoos becoming increasingly common — Dr. Leger estimates one in five adult Americans has at least one tattoo — maybe it’s time to take a careful and systematic look at just what risks are involved in getting permanently inked up.

Lost Dog

I passed this already weathered poster on my way to work this morning, and the lost, big-eyed expression on Frida’s face made me want to ditch work and go looking for her then and there.  I didn’t, of course, but I did keep an eye out for her on my walks to and from the office.  The picture made it easy to imagine the little dog shivering, rain-soaked, and unable to find her way home.  Unfortunately, Frida was nowhere to be found.

There are few things sadder and more heart-tugging than a “lost dog” poster on a telephone pole.  All dog owners can identify with the person who turned around and found that her dog darted away, or was mysteriously gone from the backyard.  We can envision the frantic, fruitless search, the drive through nearby streets looking for the lost pup, and then finally the desperation that causes the little Xeroxed signs to be stapled to telephone poles and bulletin boards in hopes that someone might have seen the beloved family pet.

Keep an eye out for Frida, will you?

Business Blogger

Richard has started his new job at the San Antonio Express-News, and one of the first things he’s done is restart the blog “Shop Talk,” which will collect news about developments in the retail sector in San Antonio.  His first post on the blog is here.

A lot of newspaper work these days is in the social media sphere, on blogs, Twitter feeds, and other outlets that I can’t even begin to identify.  The reality is that many young people are getting their news electronically, and social media also allows news to be published immediately, rather than waiting until next morning’s newspaper.

The retail area, too, is one that is interesting to most people.  Many of us worked in retail at some point in our lives — as a server in a restaurant, as a cashier at the grocery store, or as a sales clerk at a clothing outlet — and virtually everyone shops at retail stores.  As a result of our significant exposure to retail shops, some questions are just intrinsically interesting, like — how much does shoplifting cost stores, and what are the costs, in reputation and potential liability, in pursuing an aggressive no-tolerance policy?  Are all employers requiring applicants to take drug tests and no-smoking pledges these days?  And is it true that clothing manufacturers, recognizing that Americans are becoming portly, have increased the sizes of clothing, so that what is now marked a 32 waist would have been a 34 waist three years ago?

If you’re interested in retail trends, the Shop Talk blog is worth following — as is Richard’s Twitter feed.

Obese Ohio

Ohio is no longer in the top 10 list of states with the highest obesity rates.  Whoo-hoo!  But that’s where the good news ends.

Gallup and Healthways conduct an annual study to assess obesity rates in the United States, and the results are appalling.  Nationally, the obesity problem keeps getting worse, with the obesity rate in 2014 reaching 27.7 percent.  In Mississippi, which heads up the national top 10 list, the obesity rate is a shocking 35.2 percent.  Ohio dropped from number 8 in 2013 to number 13 in 2014, but that decline seems to be mostly because other people in other states are simply getting fatter, faster, than Ohioans.  Ohio’s obesity rate is 29.9 percent — which means Ohio is just a few sugary sodas away from joining the roster of states where the obesity rates is above 30 percent.

You can quibble about the design of the Gallup-Healthways study; it uses self-reported weight and height information to calculate obesity based on Body Mass Index, a measure that many experts consider to be crude and not entirely reliable.  But anyone with eyes can see that Americans keep getting fatter and fatter, which means that more Americans are dealing with adverse health consequences and increases in health care costs that flow from obesity-related conditions like diabetes, hypertension, and heart disease.

The Gallup-Healthways study also found a strong link between obesity and a sense of overall personal well-being.  That conclusion squares with research that shows poverty and obesity are related — according to a recent USDA study, for example, 40 percent of Americans on food stamps are obese — and is consistent with our everyday experience.  People who are struggling with financial problems, social problems, or a lack of purpose are less likely to get out and exercise or pay much attention to their health and appearance and more likely to find solace in a nightly quart of ice cream.  Their increasing weight then becomes part of a downward cycle that ends in depression and obesity.

What, then, is the answer to the obesity problem?  Government programs and hectoring don’t seem to work.  The key is getting individual Americans to care more about their own circumstances and develop more self-awareness and self-respect.  But how?

Debatable

The sheer number of current and likely Republican candidates for President in 2016 is testing the boundaries of how the candidate selection process should work.  Currently, there are more than a dozen announced and anticipated candidates whose names you are likely to have heard of — and if you credit a website called 2016.republican-candidates.org you’ll see many more candidates who have, until now, wallowed in the realm of obscurity.

Believe it or not, the first Republican debate for the 2016 campaign is less than three months away.  It will be held in Cleveland on August 6, 2015 and broadcast by Fox News.  But how do you broadcast a meaningful debate with more than a dozen participants?  Fox has decided that you don’t.  It will allow only the top ten candidates, as shown in the five most recent national polls prior to the debate, to participate.  CNN, which is broadcasting the second debate in September, has taken a different approach:  it will hold one debate with the top ten and another with a second-tier group of candidates that get at least 1 percent support in the polls and have at least one paid campaign worker in at least two of the first four states that will hold caucuses or primaries.

Already people are wondering what these decisions mean, both in terms of the role of networks in the selection process and how campaigns are organized.  Should networks be able to winnow out those who can participate in a public debate, and won’t the Fox and CNN rules mean that campaigns will have to be conducted with an eye toward getting the candidates into the top ten tier prior to the debates?  And what does it all mean for the chances of dark-horse candidates and the Republican process?

I think networks have the right to limit participants in forums they provide.  They shouldn’t have to give valuable air time to every person who has declared their candidacy — a list that, according to the 2016.republican-candidates.org website, includes people named Skip Andrews, Michael Bickelmeyer, Kerry Bowers, and Dale Christensen (and that’s just going through the first three letters of the alphabet).  At some point, too, “debates” in which there are throngs of debaters become unmanageable and pointless, either because they turn into scrums in which people are talking over each other or are given so little time to respond that you learn almost nothing meaningful about the candidates’ positions on the issues.  You might question how the field is winnowed — it seems to me, for example, that any person who has been elected governor of a significant state is sufficient serious to warrant inclusion — but some selection mechanism inevitably will be used.

Will it change how campaigns are run?  Certainly.  A process that has become increasingly front-loaded will now become even more so, with candidates planning appearances and spending money so that they increase their chances of getting into the initial top ten and get that national debate exposure.  It also means that people who seem to be on the fence, like Ohio Governor John Kasich, had better make a decision so they are included in the crucial public opinion polls.  And will it hurt dark-horse candidates like former CEO Carly Fiorina or Dr. Ben Carson?  Not necessarily, in my view.  If candidates have an appealing message, they will get noticed.  Now, they’ll just have to work on doing it earlier.

You’ll hear people saying that all of this is bad for our democracy, but let’s not kid ourselves.  The role of money in politics, and the increasing focus on early caucuses and primaries, have made it increasingly difficult for outlier candidates to become mainstream.  That’s just the reality of the world.  Not being included in a debate in August 2015 isn’t necessarily going to be fatal to a 2016 presidential candidate, either.  How many people aside from political junkies are going to be watching it, anyway?

These early debates may be of great interest to pundits and provide strong performers with alleged momentum, but they’re not going to make a significant dent in the national consciousness.  They’ll be the first shows in a long series of shows — so why not let the producers set rules that they think will make the shows more entertaining?

Rosy Future

The flowers in our front beds are starting to show themselves.  They include a small rosebush which has now produced striking orange flowers.  I’ve not seen roses this particular shade before — so orange that I almost wish it were Halloween.

I’ve never tried to grow roses; I’ve always heard that they are a challenge.  Given the beauty of these blooms, however, I might have to reconsider that decision.

Tag

Last weekend Kish and I saw some of the kids in the neighborhood running around on a warm spring day.  I listened carefully, but didn’t hear the dreaded cry of “Tag!  You’re it!”

Every kid loves summer, and games like kickball and red rover were were as much a part of summer as hot dogs and riding bikes and roasting marshmallows.  But I hated tag.  The reason?  I was a tubby youth who was by far the slowest kid in the neighborhood.

Every game of tag that I was involved in followed the same humiliating pattern.  Someone else would be chosen to be “it.”  That kid would then immediately scan the kids in the neighborhood.  His eyes would find me and light up with a feverish gleam.  As I tried to run away — in reality moving at a stately pace that could be timed with an hourglass — he  would zip up, easily tag me, and dart away.  Then I would spend seeming hours trudging unsuccessfully after other lightning-quick kids.  After a while the speediest kids would come closer and closer, taunting me with their proximity and daring me to tag them — but I couldn’t.

Hide and seek wasn’t much better, but at least there I could hope to find a good hiding place, then trot to the base while the seeker went far away after somebody else.  But with tag, there was no hiding option or strategy that could compensate for the lack of quickness and speed.  After I was reduced to a hot, sweaty, red-faced mess and the game got boring, another kid would inevitably allow me to make a “pity tag” so the game could go on.  I didn’t care.  I was just happy to not be “it” for a while — or at least until the second-slowest kid decided he needed an easy target.

Thank You

The Revolutionary War.  The War of 1812.  The Civil War.  The Spanish-American War.  World War I.  World War II.  The Korean War.  The Vietnam War.  The Gulf War.  The wars in Afghanistan and Iraq.

So many wars — and those are just the ones that have official names.  In between there have been countless smaller conflicts and instances of service, where members of the armed forces have fought against the Barbary pirates, or rescued hostages, or delivered crucial supplies to survivors of hurricanes or earthquakes.  And in the middle of it all has been the individual Americans serving in the Navy, the Army, the Marines, the Air Force, or the Coast Guard, who have safeguarded our shores, fought against the oppressors, and delivered help in times of need — and often made the ultimate sacrifice.

To those who have fallen, to those who have served, to the veterans and to the active members of the armed forces:  Thank you.

Memorial Day Money-Making

Memorial Day is one of the great American holidays.  It’s also widely recognized as one of the biggest driving weekends of the year, as people kick-start their summer with visits to relatives or a long weekend at a beach or lake.

So . . . why do our uniformed friends want to make the weekend painful for patriotic American motorists by looking to hand out speeding tickets by the bushel basket?

On our drive from Columbus to Cleveland on Friday afternoon every conceivable law enforcement representative — from the Ohio Highway Patrol with their spiffy gray muscle cars, to helmeted and booted motorcycle cops, to “County Mounties” and local police officers, seemed to be out on the road, aiming their radar guns at motorists.  It’s weird and unnerving to see a uniformed person pointing a gun-like device your way, and it aggravates an already stressful driving experience.  The roads are clogged as it is, and the immediate braking when a patrolman comes into view just adds to the congestion and the hassle.

Many people theorize that there are speeding ticket quotas each month that officers need to meet to help bring money in to governmental coffers, and therefore you’re more likely to see police stopping speeders and handing out tickets at the end of the month than at the beginning.  I’m not sure about that, but Kish and I saw more police officers out on I-71 on our drive up on Friday and back this morning than we’ve ever seen before.

I recognize that we can’t have people playing Max Max on our highways, but is it really necessary to send every officer of the peace in the Buckeye State out to hand out tickets?  How about letting us celebrate Memorial Day without getting hit with a fine?

Blue On Blue

I love all of the bridges of The Flats, but on a sunny day with bright blue skies I love the blue bridge best of all.

Nightfall On The River

  

We went to a wedding reception at Windows On The River last night in Cleveland.   Windows On The River is a former power plant that has been turned into an event venue, and anyone who went to last night’s great reception will attest that it is well suited to that task.

 It was a beautiful evening, and with a rib-cook off, a live concert, boat tours, and our wedding reception, the Cuyahoga reverfront was hopping.  It’s a great view, too.

Congratulations, Annie and Kyle!